Q: What does Melania Trump see in Donald Trump?
A: "Two billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
Q: Why should Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
A: Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
Q: If Donald becomes president what will be his first order of business?
A: Turn the Library of Congress into a Casino!
Q: How come Justin Bieber's hair fetched $40,000 on ebay?
A: Donald Trump is running for president and needed a more youthful looking wig!
Q: Why was there an awkward moment before Donald Trump awarded Rima Fakih the 2010 crown for Miss USA?
A: Donald asked for a clearance from Homeland Security!
Q: How do you know the economy is only getting worse?
A: On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
Q: What will Governor Blagojevich do after getting kicked out of office? A1: Become the official Lego Hair model. A2: Get fired again by Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice! A3: Host of the game show "Let's Make A Deal"
Q: What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma if he is elected president?
A: Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
Q: What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?
A: Hair Force One!
Q: Why does Donald Trump feel he can understand the average man and become president?
A: "When Trump bangs a supermodel, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off."
Q: Why isn't it surprising the Donald Trump wants to be President of the United States?
A: Because it's not the first time he has pushed a black family out of their home!
Donald Trumps Wake
When Donald Trump died, an elaborate wake was planned. In preparation, Mrs. Trump called the undertaker aside for a private little talk.
"Please be sure to secure his toupee to his head very securely. No one but I knew he was bald," she confided, "and he'd never rest in peace if anyone found out at this point. Our friends from the old country are sure to hold his hands and touch his head before they're through paying their last respects."
"Rest assured, Mrs. Trump," comforted the under- taker. "I'll fix it so that toupee will never come off."
Sure enough, the day of the wake the old timers were giving Donald's ancient corpse quite a going over, but the toupee stayed firmly in place. At the end of the day, a delighted Mrs. Trump offered the undertaker an extra thousand dollars for handling the matter so professionally.
"Oh, I couldn't possibly accept your money," protested the undertaker. "What's a few nails?"
Metropolitan Opera House
At the evening performance, the head usher at the Metropolitan Opera House was quite surprised. During an intermission, one middle aged lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe that I was sexually harassed!"
The usher didn't think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon.
At the end of the nights performance in an area close to the first complaint, a second little lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!"
This time, he knew it had to be taken care of soon.
A few guests had remained in the opera house, and he decided to go back and question them, to see if they had any knowledge of what was going on. He found one old man crawling along the opera house floor underneath the seats and stooped down to question him.
"Excuse me, sir, can I help you?"
A bald Donald Trump looked up and said, "Well, sonny, you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it.
I thought I'd found it twice, but they were both parted in the middle...and mine's parted on the side!"
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