Ashton Kutcher Jokes

Q: What do you give Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore for their next wedding anniversary?
A: Nothing. There won't be a next.

Q: Why doesn't Demi Moore shop at the fish market?
A: Because Ashton is always bringing home crabs!

Q: How did Ashton Kutcher get a bottle of "Tiger Blood"?
A: He threw Charlie Sheen a grenade!

Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Ashton Kutcher?
A: Santa Claus stops after 3 ho's!

Q: Why doesn't Ashton Kutcher eat bananas?
A: He can't find the zipper!

Q: Why is Ashton Kutcher so pale?
A: Because theres no light in the closet!

Q: Why is it sometimes alright to judge a book by its cover?
A: Sometimes it's named 'Ashton Kutcher', and you know its crap!

Q: What does Ashton Kutcher's asshole and his mouth have in common?
A: They both produce the same shit!

Q: Why was Ashton Kutcher's nickname "Shotgun" on the "That 70's show" set?
A: Give him a cock and he'll Blow!

Q: What corporations will Ashton Kutcher now secretly endorse on his laptop?
A: Trojan, Motel 6, Lavalife, Adultfriendfinder, AshleyMadison!

Q: Why is Demi Moore becoming increasingly angry with her husband, Ashton Kutcher?
A: Because he still hasn't taken his profile down!

Q: What was the number one answer in a survey asking 1000 waitresses about whether they would sleep with Ashton Kutcher?
A: Never Again!

Q: What does Ashton Kutcher consider to be safe sex?
A: When Demi Moore is out of town!

Q: How is Southwest Airlines capitalizing on Ashton Kutcher's infidelty woes?
A: By introducing a special Ashton Kutcher rate where mistresses fly free!

Ashton Kutcher has been chosen as a replacement actor for Two and a Half Men.
When did they fire the kid?

I heard Ashton Kutcher has an 8 inch dick,
But it's in his ass and belongs to Demi Moore.

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