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Stupid Blondes Jokes


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Q: What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes?
A: She sticks it in the microwave!

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: Why are blondes bad at Hide and Seek?
A: Because they can never find the sausage.

Q: How do you get a blonde off of her knees?
A: Cum.

Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Imitation of a blonde refuelling..
(Flap hand, blowing air into ears)

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool?
A: Air Pockets

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?
A: She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.

Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A: To hide the valve stem!

Q: What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech?
A: A blonde at a flashing red light

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

Q: What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
A: Siamese twins

Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

Q: Why do blondes make bad bankrobbers?
A: Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards

Q: Why did the blonde put sugar on her bed?
A: Because she wanted sweet dreams!

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: How can you tell a blonde has used your computer?
A: There is white out on the screen.

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: How do you kill a Blonde?
A: Put a Scratch 'n Sniff at the bottom of a pool.

Q: Why did the blonde have square tits?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

Q: Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed?
A: Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

Q: Why don't blondes get coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
A: It finally dawned on her!

Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A: Opens the car door.

Q: Why do blondes wear hooped ear rings.
A: So they have somewhere to put their feet when having sex.

Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't come home with you?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool.

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Give her a gun and say it's a hair drier.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew them both

Q: Why did God invent orgasms?
A: So blondes know when to stop screwing.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: If you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks.

Q: What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
A: They drowned in Spring Training

Q: Why were there 6 bullet holes in the blondes mirror?
A: She tried to kill her self

Q: How does a horny guy spell relief?
A: B.L.O.N.D.E.

Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their Mommies told them never to speak to strangers.

Q: whats the differance between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: When you slap the blonde she keeps on sucking.

Q: What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
A: Some traffic signs say stop

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
A: By the chipped tooth.

Q. Why are only 2% of blondes touch typists?
A. The other 98% are huntin' peckers

Q: How do you know if a Blonde has been using your computer?
A: The joystick is still wet.

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A: They can't remember the number.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip-code on her thigh?
A: She wanted a lot of male in her box.

Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...."
The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Blonde Cop
A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over.
The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde.
She asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?'
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "Don't be a smartass!, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license", then handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."

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