Sexy Blonde Jokes


One Liners

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.

Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.

Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.

Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod...

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only put 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?
A: All you can eat under a buck.

Q: Why is a blonde like a hardware store?
A: They are both 10 a screw!

Q: What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme!

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.
A: Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A: To put their feet through.

Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Because everybody gets a turn.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.

Q: Why do blondes prefer to buy cars with sunroofs?
A: More legroom!

Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.

Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!

Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.

Q: Why couldn't the blond get the calender to stay up?
A: Because it wasn't a dick.

Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

Q: Why did they call the blonde "twinkie"?
A: She liked to be filled with cream.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.



Q: How do blondes play Russian Roulette?
A: They jack six dicks until one gets a facial.

Q: What did Charlton Heston do when he met blonde with a gun?
A: Ben Hur-Over.

Q: What's the difference in between a light bulb and a blonde?
A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Q: Why do blondes love Wednesday?
A: Because its Hump Day.

Q. What did the blonde say to her legs..? A. Man we can make a lot of money between us.

Q: Whats the Difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: One stops sucking when you smack it.

Q: Why can't blondes count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a mouthful.

What does a blonde say after she has sex several times in the same night?
Way to go team!

Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?
Their boyfriends are blonde too.

How do you teach a blonde math?
Bend her over and give her a square root.

A girl asks her blonde friend: 'Do you smoke after you've had sex?'
Her friend: 'I wouldn't know! I've never looked!'


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