Smart Ass Questions


Smart Ass Questions
If bars aren't allowed to serve drunk people, then why is McDonald's still allowed to serve fat people?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

what do butterflies feel in their stomach when they're in love?

why can't our mind tell the difference between hungry & bored?

Why is pizza round but come in a square box.

can you cry under water?

Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?

Do penguins have knees?

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its turning on?

Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?

If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?

Why do you put two cents in when its only a penny for your thoughts?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

If a doctor suddenly died while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

Can a comedian bound to a wheelchair do standup?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

If a hermaphrodite got sent to a gender specific prison, which one would it get sent to?

What kind of fruit is in Juicy Fruit gum?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Why are violets blue and not violet?

Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"?

Why can't we tickle ourselves?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight?

Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

Why do they call the piece of wood a two-by-four if it's only 1 3/4" x 3 1/2"?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Dumb Questions
What do people in China call their good plates?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath?

How dead is the Dead Sea?

If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

How much milk is there in the Milky Way?

If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"

If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?

If corn can't hear, why does it have an ear?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why don't they just make food stamps edible?

Why is a boxing ring square?

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