What does a man who walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm say?
"Pint please, and one for the road."
Why didn't the bartender serve the snake?
Because he couldn't hold his beer.
What do two condoms say when walking past a gay bar.
"Wanna go get shit faced?"
What do you call a basement full of women?
A whine cellar!
Four gays in the bar and only one stool. What do they do?
Turn it over!
So a dyslexic walks into a bra . . .
a guy walks into a bar he says ouch it was a crowbar
A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve poultry!"
The chicken says "That's OK I just want a drink."
Two cannibals walk into a bar and sit beside this clown.
The first cannibal wacks the clown on the head and they both start eating the clown.
Suddenly the second cannibal looks up and says, "Hey, do you taste something funny?"
This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper replies, "Really? You have a drink named Steve?!"
What does a termite say when he walks into a bar?
"Is the bar tender here?"
What did the Bartender say when two jumper cables walk into a bar.
"You guys better not start anything in here."