Once there was a one eyed man who walked in to a pet shop
He said "Hi I'd like to buy that parrot"
The clerk said "I think that the bird will make fun of your one eye
The guy laughingly says "I think I can deal with it"
He gets the bird home and says "Polly want a cracker?"
The bird replied "Fuck you you one eyed bastard"
Then the guy hit the parrot on the head with a spoon
He says "Polly want a cracker?" and the bird says "Fuck you you one eyed bastard"
Then he puts the bird in the microwave for 30 seconds and says it again and again the bird says "Fuck you you one eyed bastard"
So he puts it in the freezer and says he will come back in ten minutes
He ends up falling asleep for 3 hours
He wakes up and says "Oh shit the bird"
He goes upstairs to get the bird, opens the freezer and sees the bird frozen solid with his middle finger up and one hand over his eye