Watford F.C. Jokes
Q: How many Watford supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.
Q: What's the difference between Quique Sanchez Flores and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Quique Sanchez Flores.
Q: What do you call a Hornets fan with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: How do you know most Hornets supporters don't own cars?
A: Because they are all waiting at the buzz stop.
Q: What do you say when you are approached by someone in a Hornets jersey?
A: Buzz Off.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Watford fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why do Hornets fans look like yellow skunks?
A: Because they stink and bite.
Q: What's the difference between a Watford fan and a Vibrator?
A: The Hornets supporter is a real dick
Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Vicarage Road?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Old Trafford.
Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Watford players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: What has Vicarage Road on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.
Q: How many Hornets fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.
Q. What would you call a pregnant Watford fan?
A: A dope carrier.
Q: What is a Hornets supporters favorite singer?
A: Sting.
Q. What do you call a Watford fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: How many of the Golden Boys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.
Q: What do Hornets fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What ship didn't make it to Watford?
A: The premier ship
Q: What's the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and Watford?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.
Q: What do you call 5 Golden Boys supporters standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: Why are Watford strikers like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.
Q: What's the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Watford tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Sunderland tickets.
Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and a Watford striker?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!
Q: Why do Watford fans suck at geometry?
A: Because they never have any points.
Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Hornets supporter?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!
Q: Whats the difference between Watford and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.
Q: What is the difference between a Yellow Army supporter and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: What do I have in common with Watford F.C.?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Champions League final on television.
Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Watford fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: How do you casterate a Watford supporter?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What does a Watford supporter do when his team has won the Champions League?
A: He turns off the PlayStation.
Q: What does a Yellow Army supporter and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q. Why do ducks fly over Vicarage Road upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Did you hear that Watford F.C. doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: How do you stop a Watford supporter from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in a Luton Town jersey!
Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So Watford supporters can get laid too.
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask a Yellow Army supporter!
Q: What's the difference between onions and a Hornets supporter?
A: I cry when I cut up onions...
Q: What's the difference between Watford supporters and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
Q: Why are Watford jokes getting dumb and dumber?
A: Because Yellow Army supporters have started to make them up themselves.
Q: What is the shortest book in the world called?
A: Intelligent Watford F.C. supporters.
I set my XBOX password to "Watfords Defense". It said it was to weak.
Career Day
It's career day in primary school where each student talks about what their dad does. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Johnny comes to the front of the class.
'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.'
The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad.
Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Watford F.C.'
Reckless Driver
A Luton Town fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Yellow Army supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious Watford F.C. jersey. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them.
One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest.
"Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road.
Suddenly, the driver saw a Yellow Army supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time.
Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything.
He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Watford F.C. supporter."
"That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."
Primary
A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Watford supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Watford supporters, too.
Not really knowing what an Watford supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Yellow Army supporter."
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"Why I'm proud to be a Luton Town F.C. supporter.", boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Hatters supporter.
"Well, My Dad and Mom are Hatters supporters, and I'm a Luton Town fan, too!"
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Watford F.C. supporter."
Troy Deeney
Troy Deeney walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Troy "You should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Troy . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."