Skiing Jokes


What is the difference between a ski instructor and a skiing student?
3 days

What do you call a Ski Instructor with no girlfriend/boyfriend?
Homeless

What do skiers order from Fast Food Restaurants?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.

What do you call a gangsta skier?
Froze-T

How do you know if there's a ski instructor in your bed?
You wake up wet!

What is a skiers favorite game?
Ice Spy with my little eye...

How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, ski instructors don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs.

Why does toilet paper like alpine skiing?
Because its the fastest way to get to the bottom.

Why did the Ski Instructor want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake

S.P.O.R.E.
: Stupid Person On Rental Equipment

I like big dumps and I can not lie You other brothers can't deny.

The first thing women notice about me is my Giant Slalom.

I heard fresh dumps turn Lindsey on (Vonn).

A never-ever on the slopes is a yard sale waiting to happen.

Ski Lodge
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says,

"I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"

The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.

Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says,

"That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"


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