Skateboarding Jokes

What was the skaters last words?
Hey dude, watch this!

What do you call a skateboarding instructor with no girlfriend/boyfriend?

How does a skater deliver his messages?
By Air Mail.

What do skaters do when they're really talented?

What does a street skater and a stripper have in common?
They both love grinding the rail.

What do you call a poorly constructed skateboarding course?
A half-assed pipe.

Did you hear about the skater who broke his elbow?
It was rather humerus.

Dad: I want to learn how to do tricks on the skateboard.
Son: Pop Shove It.

What do you call a professional skateboarder who just broke up with his girlfriend?

Why don't skaters shop at Big Lots?
Because they prefer Ollie's.

Are there handicap parking places in front of a skateboarding park?

If I tell my dad I want to be a professional skateboarder......Heel Flip!

Learning how to skateboard is just half-pipe the battle.

Pearly Gates
Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter
met them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven  because Heaven is so big, what kind of car you get will depend on your answer."

The first guy walks up and Peter asks the first guy, "How long were you married?" 

The first guy says, "24 years." 

"Did you ever cheat on your wife?", Peter asked. The guy said, "Yeah, 7 times...but you said I was forgiven."

Peter said, "yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto to drive."

The second guy walks up and gets the same question from Peter.

The second guy said, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her once, but that was our first year and we really worked it out good."

Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that, here's a Lincoln." 

The 3rd guy walked up and said, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I  treated my wife like a queen!"

Peter said, "That's what I like to hear. Here's a Jaguar!"

A few days later, the 2 guys with the Lincoln and the Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk. When they asked the guy with the Jaguar what was wrong, he said, "I just saw my wife, she was on a skateboard!"

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