San Francisco 49ers Jokes

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Q: Why was Mike Singletary upset when the Jimmy Raye changed the playbook?
A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it.

Q: How do the 49ers count to 10?
A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10.

Q: What do San Francisco and Los Angeles have in common?
A: Neither city has a professional football team.

Q: What's the difference between the San Francisco 49ers and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the San Francisco 49ers and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between an 49ers fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many San Francisco 49ers does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The San Francisco 49ers.

Q: What do the San Francisco 49ers and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep an San Francisco 49ers out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many San Francisco 49ers players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What is a San Francisco 49ers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Arizona."

Q: How do you stop an San Francisco 49ers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a San Francisco 49ers fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a 49ers wide receiver, a 49ers linebacker, and a 49ers defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an San Francisco 49ers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three San Francisco 49ers football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an San Francisco 49ers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the San Francisco 49ers fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an San Francisco 49ers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: What do you call a San Francisco 49ers in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that San Francisco's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many San Francisco 49ers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don�t burn out man!

Q: What does a San Francisco 49ers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They�re both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do San Francisco 49ers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the 49ers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a 49ers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for 4 years!

Q: Why do the San Francisco 49ers want to change their name to the San Francisco Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the San Francisco 49ers & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: Where do you go in San Francisco in case of a tornado?
A: Candlestick Park - they never get a touchdown there!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Candlestick Park upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Sacramento have a professional football team?
A: Because then San Francisco would want one.

49ers Fan
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cardinals fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cardinals fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'
Because I'm not a Cardinals fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Cardinals fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a 49ers fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a 49ers fan?'
"Because my mom is a 49ers fan, and my dad is 49ers fan, so I'm a 49ers fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a 49ers fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?'
"Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Cardinals fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a 49ers fan, and a Cardinals fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The 49ers fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Cardinals fan off the mountain.

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