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Q: What do you use to sack the new Dolphins quarterback?
A: Your fishing tackle.
Q: What did the Denver Broncos get for trading Brandon Marshall to the Miami Dolphins?
A: A first round pick and a felon to be named later!
Q: Why did Bill Parcells go to the bank?
A: To get his quater back!
Q: What was Chad Henne's latest injury in a Miami Dolphins uniform?
A: A torn labia!
Q: What do you call a Miami Dolphin with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.
Q: What's the difference between the Miami Dolphins and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What do the Miami Dolphins and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What is the difference between a Dolphins fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: How many Miami Dolphins does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Miami Dolphins.
Q: What do the Miami Dolphins and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q: How do you keep the Miami Dolphins out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.
Q: Why are so many Miami Dolphins players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!
Q: What is a Miami Dolphins fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat New England."
Q: How do you stop an Miami Dolphins fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in New England Red, White, and blue!
Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Miami Dolphins fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: If you have a car containing a Dolphins wide receiver, a Dolphins linebacker, and a Dolphins defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: How do you casterate an Miami Dolphins fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What should you do if you find three Miami Dolphins football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Miami Dolphins fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. How did the Miami Dolphins fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What does an Miami Dolphins fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: What do you call an Miami Dolphins in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.
Q: Did you hear that Miami's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: How many Miami Dolphins fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What does a Miami Dolphins fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do Miami Dolphins fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How do the Dolphins spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: How do you keep a Dolphins fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New England red, white, and blue and he won't beat it for 4 years!
Q: Why do the Miami Dolphins want to change their name to the Miami Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!
Q: What's the difference between the Miami Dolphins & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!
Q: Where do you go in Miami in case of a tornado?
A: Sun Life Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!
Q. Why do ducks fly over Sun Life stadium upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Why doesn't Orlando have a professional football team?
A: Because then Miami would want one.
Child Welfare
A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Fulton County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. \
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Miami Dolphins, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
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