Green Bay Packers Jokes

Q: Did you here about the Packer fan that died at a pie eating contest?
A: The cow kicked him in the head!

Q: What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan?
A: An anorexic!

Q: What do you call a beautiful girl in Green Bay?
A: A tourist.

Q: Why can't Eddie Lacy get into his own driveway?
A: Someone painted an endzone on it.

Q: How does a Packer fan find a sheep in the vast rolling hills of Wisconsin?
A: Satisfying!

Q: What do you call a Packer fan with a sheep under his arm?
A: A pimp.

Q. How are the Packers like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q: Why did Jordy Nelson cross the road?
A: To get the hospital on the other side.

Q: Want to hear a Packers joke?
A: Eddie Lacy!

Q: Why is Eddie Lacy like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: How many Packers fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in Chicago's shadow!

Q: What's the difference between the Green Bay Packers and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Green Bay Packers and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q: What does Ronda Rousey and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
A: They both lost on the final kick.

Q: What do the Green Bay Packers and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What's do the green bay packers and adulterers have in common?
A: They are both cheaters.

Q: What is the difference between a Packers fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: What do the Packers and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!

Q: How many Green Bay Packers does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Green Bay Packers.

Q: What do the Green Bay Packers and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep an Green Bay Packers out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many Green Bay Packers players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple Green Bay Packers games.

Q: What is a Green Bay Packers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Chicago."

Q: How do you stop an Green Bay Packers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Chicago Black!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Green Bay Packers fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Packers wide receiver, a Packers linebacker, and a Packers defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Green Bay Packers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Green Bay Packers football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Green Bay Packers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Green Bay Packers fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Green Bay Packers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: What do you call an Green Bay Packer in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Green Bay's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many Green Bay Packers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a Green Bay Packers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Green Bay Packers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Packers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Packers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Chicago Black and he won't beat it for 4 years!

Q: Why do the Green Bay Packers want to change their name to the Green Bay Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the Green Bay Packers & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: Where do you go in Green Bay in case of a tornado?
A: Lambeau Field they never get a touchdown there!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Lambeau Field upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Madison have a professional football team?
A: Because then Green Bay would want one.

Q: Why are Green Bay Packers jokes getting dumb and dumber?
A: Because Packers fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between Green Bay Packers fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Did you hear that Lambeau Field had to be resodded?
Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Green Bay Packers fans.

Can a Green Bay Packers player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

My wife was about to put my son in a Green Bay Packers jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

I heard they are going turn Lambeau Field into "Mr Rodgers Neighborhood"

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Packers jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Why did the Green Bay Packers fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

The Green Bay Packers don't always eat pastries, but when they do it's usually a turnover.

Packers Fan
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Packers fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Packers fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'
Because I'm not a Packers fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Packers fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Lions fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Lions fan?'
"Because my mom is a Lions fan, and my dad is Lions fan, so I'm a Lions fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Lions fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?'
"Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Packers fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Packers fan, and a Bears fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Bears fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Packers fan off the mountain.

Aaron Rodgers
Aaron Rodgers walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Aaron "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Aaron. The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."

What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's green and yellow and goes on a prick? A Packers Jersey.

Thats A Problem
What do you call 10 Green Bay Packers fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 100 Green Bay Packers fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 1000 Green Bay Packers fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
What do you call all of the Green Bay Packers fans on the moon?

Packers Fan
A Packers fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Royal Blue and Silver jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Packers fans in heaven."
"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Packers fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Packers supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now f**k off".

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