Q: What do you call an New York Knicks player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.
Q: What's the difference between the New York Knicks and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What do the New York Knicks and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What is the difference between a Knicks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What's the difference between the Miami Heat and the New York Knicks?
A: The last Heat NBA Finals team picture isn't in black and white.
Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The New York Knicks.
Q: How do you keep an New York Knicks player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.
Q: What do the Knicks and a nail have in common?
A: They are both good till they hit the wood.
Q: What is a New York Knicks fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Boston."
Q: How do you stop an New York Knicks fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Boston Green and White!
Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an New York Knicks fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: What's the difference between Carmelo Anthony and time?
A: Time passes.
Q: If you have a car containing a Knicks power forward, a Knicks point guard, and a Knicks center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: How do you casterate an New York Knicks fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What should you do if you find three New York Knicks basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an New York Knicks fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. How did the New York Knicks fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What does an New York Knicks fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: How many New York Knicks fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
Q: What does a New York Knicks fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do New York Knicks fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How do the Knicks spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: How do you keep a Knicks fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Boston green and white and he won't beat it for years!
Q. Why do ducks fly over Madison Square Garden upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Why doesn't Albany have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New York City would want one.
Q: What do you call a New York Knick in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.
Q: Did you hear that New York's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: Why are New York Knicks jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Knicks fans have started to make them up themselves.
Q: What's the difference between the New York Knicks and a pinball machine?
A: You can score more points against the Knicks.
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are New York Knicks fans.
Can a New York Knicks player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.
My wife was about to put my son in a Knicks jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.
I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Knicks jersey on it and now it sucks again.
Why did the New York Knicks fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.
I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the New York Knicks laid tonight.
A New York Knicks fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.
A Knicks fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Blue and Orange jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Knicks fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Knicks fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Knicks supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".
A Knicks fan and a Celtics fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Knicks fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Knicks fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Knicks fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Celtics fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Celtics fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Knicks fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.
Danillo Gallinari walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Danillo "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Danillo . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's blue and orange and goes on a prick? A Knicks Jersey.
Thats A Problem
What do you call 10 New York Knicks fans on the moon?
What do you call 100 New York Knicks fans on the moon?
What do you call 1000 New York Knicks fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
what do you call all of the New York Knicks fans on the moon?