New Jersey Nets Jokes

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Q: What do you call an New Jersey Nets player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the New Jersey Nets and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the New Jersey Nets and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Nets fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many New Jersey Nets players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The New Jersey Nets.

Q: How do you keep an New Jersey Nets player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: What is a New Jersey Nets fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Boston."

Q: How do you stop an New Jersey Nets fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Boston Green and White!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an New Jersey Nets fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Nets power forward, a Nets point guard, and a Nets center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an New Jersey Nets fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three New Jersey Nets basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an New Jersey Nets fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the New Jersey Nets fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an New Jersey Nets fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: How many New Jersey Nets fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don�t burn out man!

Q: What does a New Jersey Nets fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They�re both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do New Jersey Nets fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Nets spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Nets fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Boston green and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Prudential Center upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Connecticut have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then New Jersey would want one.

Q: What do you call a New Jersey Net in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that New Jersey's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Nets Fan

A Nets fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Navy, Red, and White jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Nets fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Nets fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Nets supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".

Genie
A Nets fan and a Celtics fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Nets fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Nets fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Nets fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Celtics fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Celtics fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Nets fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.

Brook Lopez

Brook Lopez walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Brook "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Brook . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."

Condoms

What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's navy, red and white and goes on a prick? A Nets Jersey.

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