Memphis Grizzlies Jokes

Q: What do you call an Memphis Grizzlies player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Memphis Grizzlies and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Memphis Grizzlies and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Grizzlies fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Memphis Grizzlies players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Memphis Grizzlies.

Q: How do you keep an Memphis Grizzlies player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: What is a Memphis Grizzlies fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Los Angeles."

Q: What do the Grizzlies and a nail have in common?
A: They are both good till they hit the wood.

Q: How do you stop an Memphis Grizzlies fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Los Angeles Purple and Gold!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Memphis Grizzlies fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Grizzlies power forward, a Grizzlies point guard, and a Grizzlies center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Memphis Grizzlies fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Memphis Grizzlies basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Memphis Grizzlies fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Memphis Grizzlies fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Memphis Grizzlies fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: How many Memphis Grizzlies fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a Memphis Grizzlies fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Memphis Grizzlies fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Grizzlies spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Grizzlies fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Los Angeles purple and gold and he won't beat it for years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Fedex Forum upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Nashville have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Memphis would want one.

Q: What do you call a Memphis Grizzly in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Memphis's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: Why are Memphis Grizzlies jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Grizzlies fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between the Memphis Grizzlies and a pinball machine?
A: You can score more points against the Grizzlies.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Memphis Grizzlies fans.

Can a Memphis Grizzlies player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

My wife was about to put my son in a Memphis Grizzlies jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Grizzlies jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Why did the Memphis Grizzlies fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the Memphis Grizzlies laid tonight.

A Memphis Grizzlies fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.

Grizzlies Fan

A Grizzlies fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Blue and Gold jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Grizzlies fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Grizzlies fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Grizzlies supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".

A Grizzlies fan and a Lakers fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Grizzlies fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Grizzlies fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Grizzlies fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Lakers fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Lakers fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Grizzlies fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.

Rudy Gay

Rudy Gay walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Rudy "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Rudy . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."


What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's blue and gold and goes on a prick? A Grizzlies Jersey.

Thats A Problem
What do you call 10 Memphis Grizzlies fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 100 Memphis Grizzlies fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 1000 Memphis Grizzlies fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
what do you call all of the Memphis Grizzlies fans on the moon?

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