Golden State Warriors Jokes


Q: How do you mentally take Stephen Curry out of a game?
A: Give his wife a twitter account.

Q: What's the difference between the Golden State Warriors and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Golden State Warriors and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Warriors fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: What do you call the Golden State Warriors without the splash brothers?
A: The 76ers.

Q: What do you Golden State Warriors listen to after signing a free agent?
A: Durant, Durant.

Q: How many Golden State Warriors players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Golden State Warriors.

Q: Why can't you stay mad at the Golden State Warriors?
A: Because Everybody Loves Draymond.

Q: What's the difference between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Golden State Warriors?
A: The last Lakers NBA Finals team picture isn't in black and white.

Q: How do you keep an Golden State Warriors player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: What is a Golden State Warriors fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Los Angeles."

Q: How do you stop an Golden State Warriors fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Los Angeles Purple and Gold!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Golden State Warriors fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: What do the Warriors and a nail have in common?
A: They are both good till they hit the wood.

Q: What did the Cavaliers sing to the Golden State Warriors after the NBA Finals?
A: Don't Curry Be Happy.

Q: If you have a car containing a Warriors power forward, a Warriors point guard, and a Warriors center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Golden State Warriors fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Golden State Warriors basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Golden State Warriors fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Golden State Warriors fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Golden State Warriors fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: How many Golden State Warriors fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a Golden State Warriors fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Golden State Warriors fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Warriors spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Warriors fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Los Angeles purple and gold and he won't beat it for years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Oracle Arena upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't San Francisco have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Golden State would want one.

Q: What do you call a Golden State Warrior in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Golden State's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: Why are Golden State Warriors jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Warriors fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between the Golden State Warriors and a pinball machine?
A: You can score more points against the Warriors.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Golden State Warriors fans.

Can a Golden State Warriors player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

My wife was about to put my son in a Golden State Warriors jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Warriors jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Why did the Golden State Warriors fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the Golden State Warriors laid tonight.

A Golden State Warriors fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.

Warriors Fan

A Warriors fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Royal Blue and Gold jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Warriors fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Warriors fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Warriors supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".

Genie
A Warriors fan and a Lakers fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Warriors fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Warriors fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Warriors fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Lakers fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Lakers fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Warriors fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.

Stephen Curry

Stephen Curry walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Stephen "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Stephen . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."

Condoms

What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's royal blue and gold and goes on a prick? A Warriors Jersey.

Thats A Problem
What do you call 10 Golden State Warriors fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 100 Golden State Warriors fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 1000 Golden State Warriors fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
what do you call all of the Golden State Warriors fans on the moon?
PROBLEM SOLVED!

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