Dallas Mavericks Jokes

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Q: What do you call an Dallas Mavericks player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Dallas Mavericks and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Dallas Mavericks and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Mavericks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Dallas Mavericks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Dallas Mavericks.

Q: How do you keep an Dallas Mavericks player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: What is a Dallas Mavericks fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Los Angeles."

Q: How do you stop an Dallas Mavericks fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Los Angeles Purple and Gold!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Dallas Mavericks fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Mavericks power forward, a Mavericks point guard, and a Mavericks center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Dallas Mavericks fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Dallas Mavericks basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Dallas Mavericks fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Dallas Mavericks fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Dallas Mavericks fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: How many Dallas Mavericks fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don�t burn out man!

Q: What does a Dallas Mavericks fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They�re both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Dallas Mavericks fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Mavericks spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Mavericks fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Los Angeles purple and gold and he won't beat it for 4 years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over American Airlines Center upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Fort Worth have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Dallas would want one.

Q: What do you call a Dallas Maverick in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Dallas's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Mavericks Fan

A Mavericks fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Navy and Silver jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Mavericks fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Mavericks fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Mavericks supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".

Genie
A Mavericks fan and a Lakers fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Mavericks fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Mavericks fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Mavericks fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Lakers fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Lakers fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Mavericks fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.

Jason Kidd

Jason Kidd walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Jason "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Jason . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."

Condoms

What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's navy and silver and goes on a prick? A Mavericks Jersey.

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