Chicago Bulls Jokes


Q: What's the difference between the Chicago Bulls and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Chicago Bulls and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Bulls fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Chicago Bulls players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Chicago Bulls.

Q: How do you keep an Chicago Bulls player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: How do you know your better than Derrick Rose?
A: When you have more cartilage in your ears than Derrick Rose has in his knees.

Q: What do you call an Chicago Bulls player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What do the Bulls and a nail have in common?
A: They are both good till they hit the wood.

Q: Have you seen the documentary about Michael Jordan?
A: It's called "Lord of the Rings".

Q: What is a Chicago Bulls fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Boston."

Q: How do you stop an Chicago Bulls fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Boston Green and White!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Chicago Bulls fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Bulls power forward, a Bulls point guard, and a Bulls center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Chicago Bulls fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Chicago Bulls basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Chicago Bulls fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Chicago Bulls fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Chicago Bulls fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: How many Chicago Bulls fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a Chicago Bulls fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Chicago Bulls fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Bulls spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Bulls fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Boston green and white and he won't beat it for years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over United Center upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Springfield have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Chicago would want one.

Q: What do you call a Chicago Bull in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Chicago's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: Why are Chicago Bulls jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Bulls fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between the Chicago Bulls and a pinball machine?
A: You can score more points against the Bulls.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Chicago Bulls fans.

Can a Chicago Bulls player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

My wife was about to put my son in a Chicago Bulls jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

They say Rose before Hoes, because Pippen Ainít Easy.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Bulls jersey on it and now it sucks again.

I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the Chicago Bulls laid tonight.

I heard a Chicago Bulls player was robbed.
Police are calling it Grand Theft Rando.

Why did the Chicago Bulls fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

A Chicago Bulls fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.

Bulls Fan

A Bulls fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Black and Red jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Bulls fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Bulls fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Bulls supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".

Genie
A Bulls fan and a Celtics fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Bulls fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Bulls fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Bulls fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Celtics fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Celtics fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Bulls fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.

Carlos Boozer

Carlos Boozer walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Carlos "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Carlos . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."

Condoms

What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's red and black and goes on a prick? A Bulls Jersey.

Thats A Problem
What do you call 10 Chicago Bulls fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 100 Chicago Bulls fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 1000 Chicago Bulls fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
what do you call all of the Chicago Bulls fans on the moon?
PROBLEM SOLVED!

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