Atlanta Hawks Jokes

Q: What do you call an Atlanta Hawks player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Atlanta Hawks and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Atlanta Hawks and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Hawks fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Atlanta Hawks players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What's the difference between the Miami Heat and the Atlanta Hawks?
A: The last Heat NBA Finals team picture isn't in black and white.

Q: What do the Hawks and a nail have in common?
A: They are both good till they hit the wood.

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Atlanta Hawks.

Q: How do you keep an Atlanta Hawks player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: What is a Atlanta Hawks fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Boston."

Q: How do you stop an Atlanta Hawks fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Boston Green and White!

Have you seen the Disney movie about Spud Webb?
It's called "Honey I Shrunk the Point Guard".
Have you seen the sequel with Dominique Wilkins?
It's called "Honey I Dunked the Kids".

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Atlanta Hawks fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Hawks power forward, a Hawks point guard, and a Hawks center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Atlanta Hawks fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Atlanta Hawks basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Atlanta Hawks fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Atlanta Hawks fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Atlanta Hawks fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: How many Atlanta Hawks fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a Atlanta Hawks fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Atlanta Hawks fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Hawks spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Hawks fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Boston green and white and he won't beat it for years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Philips Arena upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Augusta have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Atlanta would want one.

Q: What do you call an Atlanta Hawk in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Atlanta's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: Why are Atlanta Hawks jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Hawks fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between the Atlanta Hawks and a pinball machine?
A: You can score more points against the Hawks.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Atlanta Hawks fans.

Can an Atlanta Hawks player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

My wife was about to put my son in an Atlanta Hawks jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Hawks jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Why did the Atlanta Hawks fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the Atlanta Hawks laid tonight.

The Atlanta Hawks don't always eat pastries, but when they do it's usually a turnover.

Hawks Fan

A Hawks fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Navy and Red jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Hawks fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Hawks fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Hawks supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".

A Hawks fan and a Celtics fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Hawks fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Hawks fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Hawks fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Celtics fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Celtics fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Hawks fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.

Joe Johnson

Joe Johnson walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Joe "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Joe . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."


What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's navy and red and goes on a prick? A Hawks Jersey.

Thats A Problem
What do you call 10 Atlanta Hawks fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 100 Atlanta Hawks fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 1000 Atlanta Hawks fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
what do you call all of the Atlanta Hawks fans on the moon?

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