Underqualified Presidential Candidate Jokes

Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.

Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing."

His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is "That Bob Vila guy."

Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, "I win!"

Thinks it's okay to invade random Middle Eastern countries without provacation.

On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a LIFELINE.

Calls everyone by ridiculous nicknames and even has one himself "Dubya".

Refers to the Presidency as a "decision-making job" and says he needs to make "a lot of decisions" in the same sentence.

Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares.

Got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Sally Struthers with a chocolate donut.

He thinks he can deport 11 million illegals.

Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC thingie?"

Can't spell the word "Potato"

Doesn't care about 47 percent of the country, but expects them to vote for him anyway.

Thinks she can see Russia from her house.

At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna wrestle?"

Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all.

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