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Democrat Jokes


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Q: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it really gets screwed.

Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: Why can't John Kerry tell a joke?
A: Because all the botox keeps him from smiling!

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.

Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What's worse than Bill Clinton calling you a womanizer?
A: Marc Foley calling you a pervert!

Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: Chelsea.

Q: What do you call Al Gore's drumming?
A: An algorithm.

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.

Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax?
A: After it reaches 95%

Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese

Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people?
A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.

Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

Q: Why did God create Democrats?
A: In order to make used car salesmen look good.

Q: What is a recent Democrat graduate's usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries, sir?

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!

Q: How do Democrats talk about Republican foreign policy?
A: By saying the word "Conspiracy" over and over again

Q: How do you know you're a Democrat?
A1: You think poverty can be abolished.
A2: You admire the Swedish welfare system
A3: You'd rather own Birkenstock than Merck Stock
A4: After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."
A5: You still own something that says "Dukakis for President,"

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