Obnoxious Male Pick Up Lines


"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?" pull your pockets inside out "Would you like to?"

I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.

Lick your fingers and touch the girls clothes and say "how bout me and you get outa these wet clothes"

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.

Women don't date me for my money, they date me for my money shot.

I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.

Those are nice legs. do they come over easy?

Hey baby, I'll fuck you so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.

Do you train cats? (No, why?) Because you just made my pussy cum!

Are you going to that funeral? (What Funeral) The one where MY BALLZ drop dead in your mouth

Hey baby, do I stand a chance with you or shall I just move on to your fat friend?

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!

I like my women like I like my coffee, full of cream.

Did you go swimming earier or did I get you wet

Some people think I'm fat but its actually my cock wrapped around me.

Excuse me, My name is Ben Dover (bend over). Would you like to meet my friend Master Bates (masturbates)? Or should I do it for you?

I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz everytime your around my dick swells up.

Those boobs look heavy, let me hold em for you.

Is it just me or do most guys picture you naked?

How about you and my friends play minivan, two in the front and 5 in the back.

Your hand is so soft and delicate, my dick would look huge in it.

I'm not a dick in real life, but I'll play one in your vagina tonight!

Do you like tapes and CDs? (I guess) Good, 'cause Imma tape this dick to your forehead so you CDs nuts

Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?

Are you busy [If no], well do you want to get busy.

Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear.

How much does your clothes cost? (Woman says "Why do you want to know?") Cause I`ll need to know how much to pay you back after I rip them off.!

Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?

You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.

I hear your thirsty? Well I've got a six pack right here!

My face will be leaving in a quarter of an hour and I'd like you to be on it

I just cleaned my bedsheets, want to come mess them up with me.

"Do you know Candice? (Candice who?) Candice dick fit in your mouth?

Do you like dragons? Cause in a minute I'll be dragon my balls across your face

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

Hey girl; I got this new cologne called hard on u want to try it

You MUST have a nice personality.

Does the carpet match the drapes?

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

Good news, the test results are negative!

Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love.

How about I teach you about firefighting by letting you slide down my pole

I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?

Ok, I'm here, what do you want for your next wish?

hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.

"Those boobs look very heavy... can I hold them for you?"

Hey Babe...how about the two of us grabbing a pizza and going to my place and shag?
No???
What's the matter? Don't you like pizza???

Ask a hottie, "Would you like some fruit?"
When she says "Ok what you got?"
Pull down your trousers and say I got two apples and a banana

It's a celebration bitches show Rick James your titi's

Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?

Bring a teabag and screw in your pocket....go to the bar hold up the teabag and screw and ask if she wants to teabag or screw...

You are so hot I want to bang you from behind

Do you have any tape? Cause these babies are ripped. (flash your biceps)

The only time I'd kick you outta bed would be to fuck you on the floor!

Hi, my names bubbles. wanna blow me?

Are you a cowgirl cause I can see you riding me

Hi! can i stir your drink, mind if i use my dick?

Save a straw...Suck A Dick.

Girl...are you a private eye? Because I saw you checking out my package

Are you a cowgirl cause I can see you riding me

.

Use index finger to call someone over then say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."

Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?

Hey babe lets play army, I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!

"Hows 'bout you an me, we get together and do the horizontal mambo?"

I know hello in 6 different languages, which one do you want me to tell you tomorrow?

Hey Babe, there's a party in my pants and you're invited!

Walk up to a girl,look at her breasts and say: hey,tell your nipples to stop staring at me.

If you think you feel good, you should feel me

Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `little member' and say: Hey charlie, see anyone here you recognize?

Wanna see my third leg?

Are you drunk enough to be taken advantage of?

You know, it's not premarital sex unless you plan on getting married.

Do you want to be my insignificant other?

"if I was to wake you in the morning, would I just touch you on the shoulder, or would I have to call you?"

Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position

How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!

Can I be your toliet seat so you can sit on me!

Since we shouldn't waste things in this bad economy, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?

Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?

Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

Theres a party in my pants and your invited.

Hey Baby. My underwear is completly stretched out. You know what that means.

Dikembe is a famous 7'2" African basketball player from Zaire with a raspy voice. The story goes that Dikembe walked into a Georgetown bar butt-naked one night, the entire place stopped to look at him, and in response, Mutombo just yelled out, "WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO?!"

Your pants remind me of Vegas.... The kinda place I go to blow my Wad.

your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen up?

Are you from Europe? Cause eura hoe

if i told you that you were beautiful would you take off your clothes and dance naked?

Nice hair lets fuck all night long

Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!

My hands are cold, can i take them down south

(Give a girl a penny) then say "how much can i get with this"

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

"Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd sure love to tap THAT ass!"

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

"My magical watch says you're not wearing any panties...oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast..."

Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.

Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. He'd like your phone number. He wants to know where he can get a hold of me in the morning.

When shes about to leave say: "Hey were you going beautiful,the dark room is the other way.

Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say are you gonna eat that



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