Shaving Jokes

Who shaves 10 times a day and still has a beard?
The barber.

Wife: I shaved my legs you know what that means!
Husband: That I have to unclog the drain?

What do you call a group of men waiting for a shave?
A barbercue.

What's the worst part about not shaving?
Being confused as a hipster.

Why are clean shaven comedians so funny?
Their wit is razor sharp!

Why Did Britney Spears shave her head?
She wanted the drapes to match the carpet.

Why did the blonde shave the peaches?
Because the recipe called for nectarines!

Why did everyone want to date Gillette?
She was the best a man could get.

I asked my teacher about shaving, but he said "You must razor hand first"

Dear Disney, why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress me shave a gorilla.

Men who shave their arms and legs probably shave their vaginas too.

Today my fashion statement is, "I missed a spot shaving."

Yo mama so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.

Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.

I mustache you a question , but I'll shave it for later.

That awkward moment you offer your coworker a sincere compliment on their mustache and she files a complaint with human resources.

I told my girlfriends that I fell in love with a bearded man.
The told me to "Razor standards".

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Razor who?
Razor hands, this is a stick up!

Heavenly Soldiers
Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?"

"Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?"

"There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards."

"Oh, that's because most men who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."

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