Makeup Jokes
Why did Elizabeth Arden get a restraining order against Calvin Klein?
Because he had an "Obession".
What does a pastor who wears to much cologne say?
"Let us spray!"
What do you call a cat that likes to put on perfume?
Glamourpuss.
Why do girls put on makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they stink.
Why did the blonde girl bring perfume to school?
For show-and-smell!
What did the Daisy Duck say when she bought perfume?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a pig wearing perfume?
Calvin Swine.
What do you call someone who raps about cologne?
50 Scent.
How does Jean Paul Gaultier travel?
By Smelli-copter.
What's the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
Miley Cyrus is releasing a new fragrance called "Twerk", it's just Billy Rays tears in a bottle.
Don't bother reading that book about cologne, it stinks.
Short Skirt
A blonde lady walks into a library one day. She is wearing a short short skirt and you can smell her perfume from a mile away.
She is carrying with her an extremely large book.
She walks up to the librarian desk, slams the book down and shouts, "this is the worst book I ever read!","there are no pictures,the words are too small and its so god damn big!".
The librarian slowly looks up at the blonde and says.."So your the one that stole our phone book"
Old Lady
An old lady got on an elevator in a very lavish building,when a young woman gets on smelling of perfume.
The woman turns to the old woman and arrogantly says "Romance by Ralph Lauren $150.00 an ounce!"
Then another young woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly says "Chanel#5 $200.00 an ounce!"
About 3 floors later,the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator, but before she leaves,she looks at both women in the eye,bends over Farts and says "Broccoli 49 cents a pound!"