Janitor Jokes
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies.
Did you hear about the hitman who's also a janitor at the aquarium?
He sweeps with the fishes!
Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet!
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
He wanted to get to the bottom.
Why does the elephant bring a janitor to the party?
Because he is a party pooper.
What do you call a janitorial Superhero?
Flush Gordon.
Why won't blondes hand their iPhones to the janitor before using the restroom?
Because they don't want to give away their IP address!
How did the Custodian punish the blind students?
He stuck a plunger in the toilet.
Why did the janitor install a toilet at the garbage heap?
Every one had to take a dump.
What does a janitor sing at work?
"Mop In The Name Of Love"
What do you call a Frenchmen working at the aquarium?
Jacques Custodian.
Lipstick
At a private high school somewhere in the Midwest, a young girl created an uproar when she made an impression on the bathroom mirror of her lips in bright red lipstick.
The principal, a bright, well-educated woman with more than 25 years of experience in public school administration, was outraged. She immediately addressed the students over the school intercom:
"It has come to my attention that someone has been leaving an impression of their lips on the mirror in the second-floor girl�s bathroom with her lipstick. This behavior is considered vandalism and will not be tolerated. I hope that whoever is responsible for this will not do it again and will apologize for her inconsiderate actions. And I will warn you all that if this incident is repeated, all guilty parties will be suspended for a period of one week. I trust I won�t have to address this problem again."
Naturally, the principal�s threat had precisely the opposite effect. Despite the teacher�s best efforts, an epidemic of lipstick imprints galloped through the girl�s bathrooms. In desperation, the principal listened to an idea from the school janitor and allowed him to try it.
The janitor gathered together about five junior and senior girls who were the unofficial leaders of their classes and led them into one of the bathrooms with a bucket and a washrag in his hands. "I wanted to show you girls just how difficult it is to wash this lipstick off the mirrors," he told them. The girls rolled their eyes, folded their arms, and otherwise signaled their utter indifference.
The janitor then proceeded into one of the stalls, dipped his washrag in the toilet, and swirled it around in the water. He went over to the lipstick on the mirror and wiped it off with the toilet water soaked rag.
Wide-eyed horror replaced the expressions of boredom as the janitor finished wiping down the mirrors.
The lipstick problem ended almost immediately.