Emo Jokes


How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Why don't emo girls date emo boys?
Cause they've already got a pussy.

Did you hear about the Fat Emo kid?
When the world gets him down he eats it.

Why did the emo kid cross the road?
To get a box of tissues!

What do EMO kids use as birth control?
Their Personalities.

What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.

Whats the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.

What would you rather be emo or handicapped?
Trick question emo is a handycap.

Did you hear about the new emo pizza?
It cuts itself!

Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea?
Because proper tea is theft.

What do you call an emo kid that doesn't believe in self mutilation?
A cut above the rest.

When does an Emo wake up in the morning?
After the rooster says Cutadoodledo!.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

How do you cut an emo sandwich?
Trick question, it cuts itself..

What do emo kids sing on Friday the 13th?
"Voorhees a jolly good fellow. Voorhees a jolly good fellow."

Did you hear about 50 Cents new Emo Rap Album?
Get scene or cut trying.

Did you hear about the Mexican emo band?
They're called "Hispanic at the Disco"

What do yo call a vegan post-punk band?
Soy Division.

Did you hear the song Sting wrote about his emo daughter?
Every little thing she does is sarcastic.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.

What's 300 ft long and has no pubic hair?
The line outside a My Chemical Romance concert.

Did you see the Pixar movie about punk rock?
It's called "Finding Emo".

Emo's are so predictable...
Eat, sleep, cut, repeat.

What do you call a punk rocker without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

What do you call punk rockers who learn how to play their instruments?
Sell-outs.

What do you call 100 emo kids at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.

Why does a leave fall faster than an Emo?
The Emo hangs himself.

If a blonde and an emo kid jump off a building, and hits the ground at the same time, who dies first?
The blonde, she drowns in the emo kids tears

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.

Can Emo kids eat a Happy Meal?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have schizophrenia
Here's hoping you do too.

An emo auditioned for a play, and he made the cut.

Punk Rocker
An old guy is sitting on a bus when a punk rocker gets on. The punk rocker's mohawk is red, green, yellow and orange. He has feather earrings. When he sees the old man staring at him, the punk rocker says, "What's the matter old man? Didn't you ever do anything wild when you were a young guy?"
The old guy says in reply "Yeah. One time I screwed a peacock. I thought maybe you were my kid."

Library
An Emo goes to the library and asks the librarian, "Excuse me, do you have any books on suicide?".

The librarian replies, "Well, we used to, but you idiots never bring them back!"

Emergency Room
A nurse from England was on duty in the emergency department, when an unconscious punk rocker entered. This young woman had purple hair styled into a Mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing.
It was determined that the patient had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it was a tattoo reading: "Keep off the grass." After the prep and the surgery, the surgeon added a small note to the dressing, which said: "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

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