Q: What is Hellboy's favorite day of the week?
Q: What's the difference between Hellboy and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q: What did Hellboy say to Spider Man?
A: "Don't bug me."
Q: Why did Hellboy flush the toilet?
A: Because it was his duty!
Q: What is Hellboy's favorite part of a joke?
A: The "Punch" line.
Q: Why did Abe Sapien wear a tie?
A: He wanted to be soFISHticated.
Q: Why did Liz Sherman come back home early?
A: Because her boss told her to go to hell.
Q: Who did Hellboy want to win the election?
A: Hillary Kitten.
Q: What does Hellboy put in his beverages?
A: Just ice.
Q: Why did Abe Sapien cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide.
Q: Why will you never see Hellboy in an Armani suit?
A: Because the Devil Wears Prada.
Abe Sapien: Do you think Liz Sherman is hot?
Hellboy: She's on Fire!.
Why shouldn't you upset Liz Sherman?
Because she has a fiery temper.
What party game does Abe Sapien like to play?
I joined the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense the other day, just for the hell of it.
Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some girls.
Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him.
A little disappointed, Superman called Hellboy to see if wanted to grab a couple of beers. Hellboy told him he had a date with Liz Sherman.
As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder woman's apartment to see If she was free.
As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs open.
Superman thought to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what was happening."
So Superman did his super thing in a split second & flies off happily.
Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder woman said "Did you hear anything?"
"NO"! said the Invisible Man, "But my ass hurts like hell!"
There is a big room with four corners.
In the first corner, you find Spider-man.
In the second corner you find Batman.
In the third corner you find Hellboy.
And in the fourth corner you find an extremely intelligent, 100% natural blonde woman with an amazing ultra-thin magazine-model figure.
In the center of the room there is a pot of gold.
Q: Who gets to the pot of gold first?
A: None, because none of these characters exist.