Minnie Pearl Stand Up Jokes
At my age it's a pleasure to be anywhere
There was a little boy who was acting up something horrible. His mother warned him if he didn't stop, she was gonna have to give him a whippin'! Well, he kept on misbehaving until his mom finally said, "That's it!" and she proceeded to give him the spanking of his life. The little boy went crying all the way upstairs, ran into his mom's bedroom, stood in front of her full-length mirror and dropped his britches. After taking one look he went," Hmph!"
Then he marched straight back downstairs and to his mom and announced, "Boy, I sure hope you're happy! You cracked it!"
Kissing a man with a beard is a lot like going to a picnic. You don't mind going through a little bush to get there!
The doctor must have put my pacemaker in wrong. Every time my husband kisses me, the garage door goes up.
My brothers got a new dog he calls careless because he got him for a hunting dog and he cares less about hunting than any dog he's ever seen.
One of those handsome secret service fellas frisked me all up and down, so I turned around and went out and came back in again.
We have boys now, and men, in the rock and roll business and all the show business, who have this reaction on women. They scream. They yell. They do all sorts of wild things.
I've been with certain stars; some are caring and pay attention to their fans and to their fellow performers and some are too busy. Elvis never seemed too busy.
I think Elvis would be alive today, probably, if he had been allowed to mix and mingle with his fans. I think it was a great cross for him to bear that he couldn't get out and be with his fans.