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Spain Jokes


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Short Spain Jokes

Q: How does every Spanish joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: Whats the difference between a smart Spaniard and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters

Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Spanish beauty contest?
A: Me neither.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Spain?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q: How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb.
A: Just Juan

Q: Who is the Spanish patron saint of shoes?
A: San Dalia.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Spaniard and an Iranian?
A: Oil of Ol'e.

Q: What were the 2 Spaniard FireFighting Brother's names?
A: Hose A and Hose B

Q: Why don't Spaniards play hide and seek?
A: Cause nobody will look for them?

Q: What do you call a Spaniard with a rubber toe?
A: Roberto!

Q: What do you call a Spaniard with a lowered car?
A: Carlos!

What do you call a Spanish streaker?
Señor Willy.

How do you make a Spanish Chili?
You Stick the popsicle up the Hombre!


Spanish Restaurant

An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the specialty of the house. When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what it is.

"These, senor," replied the waiter in broken English, "are the arms of the bull killed in the ring today."

The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the dish and thought it was delicious. So he comes back the next evening and orders the same item. When it is served, he says to the waiter, "These arms... are much smaller than the ones I had last night."

"Yes, senor," replied the waiter, "You see...the bull, he does not always lose.


Piss

This Spanish dude was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Englishman sees him. After the Spaniard is done the English bloke asks him, "How come you Spaniards don't wash your hands after you pee?"
The Spaniards smiles, "Senor, we Spaniard don't piss in our hands..."


Reporters
Spanish singer Alejandro Sanz was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manana'.

Diamond asked him to explain what it meant.

Alejandro said that the term means "maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?"

The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish.

"No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency," replied Brennan.


Un Hombre
Un hombre despertó cubierto de pelos. Fue al doctór y le dijo:
"Digame, doctór - que padezco?"

Y el doctór le dijo
"Padeces un osito"

Blondes

A blonde was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry.
The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust.
The Spanish man agrees that the news is very sad.
After a while the blonde asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"

Rhymes & Funny Sayings

Ropa is not rope, sopa is not soap, and butter is mantequilla (meant to kill you)

Gracias. Espero que vosotros consiga los pollos de goma debajo de sus almohadillas!

The Foreigner
Once there was a man that came from Spain to America, He couldnt speak English so he went to choir and learned how to say "Me me me me me me."
Then he went to the store and saw a little girl say "He stole my dolly"
And on his way home he went to get meat from the butcher and learned how to say "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then he went home and watched an air freshener commercial and learned how to say "Plug it in Plug it in."
Then he went to the store and there was a murder the police said "Who killed this man?"
The foreigner said "Me me me me me me me."
The police said "Why did you kill him?"
And the man said "He stole my dolly."
The police man said "What did you kill him with?"
The man said "Big butcher knife big butcher knife."
Then they took him to jail and sentenced him to death.
The police man said "any last words?"
And the foreigner said "Plug it in plug it in."

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