Short Rhode Island Jokes
Q. What's the difference between a University of Rhode Island sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q: Why do University of Rhode Island grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Rhode Island campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Rhode Island?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Rhode Island library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: What does the average University of Rhode Island student get on his SAT?
Q: How many University of Rhode Island freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: Do you live in Rhode Island?
A: No you can't fit a house in it
Q: If you have a car containing a Rams power forward, a Rams point guard, and a Rams center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Rhode Island?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate an Rhode Island Rams fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Why do Rhode Island students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Rhode Island Rams campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of Rhode Island?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three University Of Rhode Island basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Rhode Island Rams fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: What does a Rams grad call a Friars grad in 5 years?
I'm not saying Providence Friars basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game.
The rest will dress themselves.
Q: Why is "The Wave" banned in Ryan Center?
A: Two Rams fans drowned last year.
Q: Why did the Rhode Island regents decide to cover Dunkin' Donuts Center in cardboard?
A: Because the Friars always look better on paper.
Q: What happens when blondes move from New York to Rhode Island?
A: Both states become smarter!
Q: Why aren't Rhode Island Rams cheerleaders allowed to do the splits?
A: They stick to the ground.
Q: Why do all the trees in Massachusetts lean south?
A: Rhode Island Sucks
Q: What does a girl from Rhode Island do if she's not in bed by 10pm?
A: Go Home.
Q: Why do Friars basketball players use body heat activated deodorant?
A: Because it's the closet they will come to getting a "Degree".
Q: Why do Brown University students have such beautiful noses?
A: They're hand picked.
Q: Why did Rhode Island disband its water polo team?
A: All the horses drowned.
Q: What's the difference between a Rhode Island College diploma and toilet paper?
A: About $50,000 per sheet.
Q: What does it say on the back of every Rhode Island College diploma?
A: Will Work For Food.
Q: Why did the Rhode Island College grad cross the road?
A: Better question why is he out of jail?
Q: How does a dumb blonde get into college?
A: She applies to Rhode Island.
Q: Why should the Rhode Island Rams change their uniforms to Orange?
A: So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.
Q: What's the one thing that keeps Providence basketball players from graduating?
A: Going to Class.
Q: How is a Rhode Island girl different from a bowling ball?
A: Sometimes a bowling ball is hard to pick up.
Q: What do Brown grads use for Birth Control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How do you break a Brown grads finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: How do you get an Rhode Island Rams fan to laugh all weekend long?
A: Tell him a joke Monday morning.
Q: Why do Rams fans smell so bad?
A: So blind people can hate them too.
Q: Did you hear that 9 out of 10 coeds are good looking?
A: The other one goes to Brown.
Q: Whats the difference between Providence, RI and yogurt?
A: Yogurt has an active living culture.
Q: What's the difference between Dunkin' Donuts Center and a cactus?
A: The cactus has its pricks on the outside.
Q: What separates a good team from a great team?
A: The Massachusetts-Rhode Island border.
Q: How do you confuse a Rhode Island student?
A: You can't they were born that way.
Q: What will you never hear a Rhode Island College grad say?
A: "I have reviewed your application......"
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Rhode Island?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the Rhode Island Ram die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What is the definition of a Rhode Island virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
Q: What do they call students who go to URI?
A: Rejects from Brown!
Q: What does a Rhode Island Rams fan do when his team has won the Final Four?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: What do Brown and URI students have in common?
A: They both got in to URI
Q: What's the difference between an University of Rhode Islands basketball player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: How many Rhode Island grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
Q: What are the best four years of an Rhode Island grads life?
A: Third grade
Q: What does a Rhode Island native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Rhode Island have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys in Rhode Island?
A. With a restraining order.
Q. What's the first thing a Rhode Island girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.
Q: What did the Rhode Island female say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!
Q: Why don't girls play hide and seek in Rhode Island?
A: No one would look for them.
One Day This Kid And His Mom Were Walking Past A Cemetery When They Past A Grave And the Kid Stopped To Read It.
He Read Aloud "Here Lies A Rhode Island Graduate And A Great Man."
The Kid Then Says "Mom I Dont Get It."
The Mom Says "Why Not?"
The Kid Says "Why Are there 2 People Burried here?"