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Short Rhode Island Jokes
Q. What's the difference between a University of Rhode Island sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
Q: Why do University of Rhode Island grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Rhode Island campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Rhode Island?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Rhode Island library?
A: Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: What does the average University of Rhode Island student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: How many University of Rhode Island freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: If you have a car containing a Rams power forward, a Rams point guard, and a Rams center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What is the definition of safe sex down in Rhode Island?
A: Placing signs on the animals that kick.
Q: How do you casterate an Rhode Island Rams fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: Why do Rhode Island students have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First!
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Rhode Island Rams campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned at the University of Rhode Island?
A: They cause too much brain damage!
Q: What should you do if you find three University Of Rhode Island basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Rhode Island Rams fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Rhode Island?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.
Q. How did the Rhode Island Ram die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What is the definition of a Rhode Island virgin?
A: An ugly twelve year old who can outrun her brothers..
Q: What do they call students who go to URI?
A: Rejects from Brown!
Q: What does a Rhode Island Rams fan do when his team has won the Final Four?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: What do Brown and URI students have in common?
A: They both got in to URI
Q: What's the difference between an University of Rhode Islands basketball player and a dollar?
A: You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: How many Rhode Island grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
Q: What are the best four years of an Rhode Island grads life?
A: Third grade
Q: What does a Rhode Island native and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do tornadoes and graduates from the University of Rhode Island have in common?
A: They both end up in trailer parks.
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys in Rhode Island?
A. With a restraining order.
Q. What's the first thing a Rhode Island girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.
Q: What did the Rhode Island female say after sex?
A: Get off me Dad, you're crushing my smokes!
Q: Why don't girls play hide and seek in Rhode Island?
A: No one would look for them.
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