Greece Jokes


Greek Mythology Jokes
What game did the Greek Gods play?
Hydra and go seek.

What did the Ancient Greeks wear on their feet?
Tennis Zeus.

How do Greek women get ready for a toga party?
With A Hera appointment.

Have you seen the movies about Greek Mythology?
No?, well you odyssey them.

What do you call a musician petrified by Medusa?
A rockstar.

Why doesn't Aphrodite date tennis players?
Because love means nothing to them.

What do you call a movie about eating healthy?
My Big Fat Greek Yogurt.

What is Apollo's favorite indie rock band?
Walk The Moon.

What did Poseidon say to the sea monster?
What's Kraken?

Which Greek god is always passing wind?
Anemoi.

Why does Ares only have a Sony Playstation?
Because he is the "God Of War"

Who did Artemis invite to her birthday party?
Her nearest and deer-est friends.

Why did Artemis miss her mark?
She wasn't aiming deer-ectly for it.

What do you call the Arnold Schwarzenegger action movie about the Greek Bailouts?
The Last Action Gyro.

Why did god invent wine?
So Dionysus could never rule the world.

What is Mrs. Klumps favorite Disney movie?
Hercules! Hercules!

What did the Parthenon play in Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief?
A supporting role.

What breed of horse was the Trojan horse?
A nightmare.

Is your name Hades because you are boring me to death!

The awkward moment when you realize that you have a body of a Greek god.......the bottom half.

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa into stone.

Short Greece Jokes
Did you hear about the war between Greece and Turkey?
The Greeks were lobbing hand grenades; the Turks were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

What new chapter is S&P forecasting for the Greek Economy?
Chapter 11

How can you know if your bank is hurting from austerity measures?
You try to cash a check and they tell you to come back with a gun!

Why does George Michael (Georgios Panayiotou) want to purchase Panathinaikos F.C.?
Because he wants to ruin more than just music!

Why is President Obama contacting the Prime Minister of Greece about the failed economy?
To find out how Greeks live off of less!

Why doesn't Greece celebrate Halloween?
The lights are out, the windows are boarded up, the lawns aren't cut. Everyday is Halloween in Greece now.

What do the Greeks need to drink?
Auster-Tea.

Whats the difference between a smart Greek and a unicorn?
Nothing, they're both fictional characters

How was copper wire invented?
Two Greeks were fighting over a penny.

How do you know Adam was a Greek?
Who else could stand beside a naked woman and be tempted by a fruit?

Why is George W Bush considering moving to Greece?
Because his penis size will increase from 6 inches to 15.24 centimeters!

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Greece!
Greece who?
Are Greece and oil the same thing?

Bragging
A Canadian guy, a Greek guy, a Japanese guy, and a Middle Eastern guy walk into a bar.
They all have a couple of beers, and get to bragging.
The Greek guy boasts, "I'm so lucky, I have 4 beautiful children, one more and I would have a basketball team."
Not to be outdone, the Canadian guy retorts, "I am luckier than you, I have 5 gifted children, one more and I could form a hockey team."
So, the Japanese guy chimes in with, "Well, I surely have both of you topped. I have 8 children. Just one more and I would have a baseball team."
Pausing, briefly, the Middle Eastern guy replies, "Well, I am betting I have all you fools beat. my harem houses 17 wives, one more and I would have a golf course!".

The Bet
Three Friends an Italian a German and a Greek they decided to bet it's other 100 euros who is going to make their wives scream more from sex.
So they all go home to have sex with their wives so they make them scream.
The next day the meet.

The Italian says, "I made love to my wife for 2 hours and she was screaming for at least 1 1/2 hours."

The German says, "That's nothing, I start licking my wife for two hours and she was screaming the whole time and half hour after that."

The Greek says, " That's nothing, I made love to my wife for ten minutes,
I came a couple times I wiped my Dick in the curtain and she still screaming."
A Greek a Turk and a Beautiful Woman
There's a Greek, a Turk and a beautiful woman sitting
next to each other on a train. The train goes through a tunnel
and everything gets dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and
then a SLAP!!
The train comes out of the tunnel. The woman and the Greek sitting
there looking perplexed. The Turk is bent over holding his face which is
red from an apparent slap.
The Turk is thinking "Ya Allah, that Greek must have tried to kiss
this lady, she thought it was me and slapped me."
The lady is thinking, "that Turk must have moved to kiss me
and kissed the Greek instead and got slapped."
The Greek was thinking to himself..."If this train goes through
another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and
slap that Turk again."

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