Gay Marriage Jokes


"California's Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger spoke out against gay marriage, then he went back to slathering oil on his muscles in front of other guys." --Craig Ferguson

"The Bush administration renewed its call for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. So I guess they feel the only time that guys should be on top of each other naked is in an Iraqi prison." -Jay Leno

"President Bush said he was 'troubled' by gay people getting married in San Francisco. He said on important issues like this the people should make the decision, not judges. Unless of course we're choosing a president, then he prefers judges." -Jay Leno

"Some see the move as an attempt to preserve traditional values, while others see it as a cynical ploy to ensure that Vice President Dick Cheney will never have to pay for his gay daughter's wedding." -Jon Stewart, on President Bush's proposal for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage

"Legalized same-sex marriage has prompted a new slogan, 'We're here, we're queer and we're registered at Williams-Sonoma.'" -Craig Kilborn

"President Bush says he's troubled by all the gay weddings that have been going on in San Francisco. Bush also says he's troubled by Bert and Ernie's relationship on 'Sesame Street.'" -Conan O'Brien

"Conservative groups are demanding that President Bush support a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. They feel that when the founding fathers were putting the Constitution together they made a mistake by not outlawing it. Have you ever seen the paintings of the founding fathers? The powdered wigs, the frilly collars, the pedal pushers - I think they were for it." -Jay Leno

"Earlier today, President Bush said gay marriage is immoral and that heterosexual marriage must be defended, that's what he said. ... You can tell Bush is serious because he said the new Axis of Evil is Cher, Bette Middler and Clay Aiken." -Conan O'Brien

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