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Earthquake Jokes


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Q: What do cows produce during an earthquake?
A: Milkshake!

Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake
A: You crack me up

Q: Why is everyone making such a big deal out of the NorthEast Earthquake on August 23, 2011?
A: Because they're stupid.

Q: What do you call it when tens of thousands of Northeasterners go hysterical of a 5.8 earthquake?
A: Free entertainment.

Q: What would Tea Party extremists do with San Francisco after a catastrophic earthquake?
A: Bulldoze the rest of it off into the ocean!

Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor?
A: Not cool.

Q: What's yellow and glows in the dark?
A: Any Fukushima resident.

Q: What an Earthquakes favorite song?
A: "Shake, Rattle and Roll!"

Q: What's worse than an earthquake ravaging a city?
A: The ensuing Tsunami washing everything away!

Q: What happens when a building falls down in San Francisco?
A: Everyone know it's San Andreas' Fault!

Q: Did you hear about the earthquake in Haiti?
A: It caused $100 million worth of improvements!


Japanese Banks
The earthquake is now causing trouble for Japans banking industry.

Origami bank has folded.
Sumo bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai bank has cut back some of its branches.
Karoake bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.

Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped

Coup De Tat
After the Revolution : The far right Tea Party extremists get it together and overthrow the government. Then they start rounding up politicians to execute.

A firing squad is convened and Al Gore, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush are all marched to a wall to be shot.

As the right wing nuts are loading their guns Al Gore thinks, "I've got to cause a diversion so I can get away." He yells "Oh, no. A TORNADO" and points behind the firing squad.
As the ultraconservative fruitcakes turn around to see if there is a tornado approaching, Al Gore jumps over the wall behind him and runs away.

The firing squad turns their attention back to the two men who are left. Clinton quickly observes how well Gore's ruse has worked and yells "EARTHQUAKE".
As the firing squad frantically looks for a place to take cover Clinton jumps over the wall and he too escapes.

The firing squad resumes their stance and proceeds to take aim at George W. Bush. Dubya, believing that he, too, can create a diversion, frantically searches his mind for another natural disaster to use.
Smiling to himself, he yells "FIRE".
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