Puberty Jokes
What happens to a Rhinoceros during puberty?
He gets horny.
What's the difference between a water bottle and puberty?
A water bottle has already hit Justin Bieber.
What's the most important part of the Birds and the Bees?
To Bee-hive yourself!
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them.
What do you call a western with teenagers?
The Good, the Bad, and the Acne.
I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney Dangerfield
"Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!""
Eddie Izzard
Sam: What grade does a really smart kid with acne get?
Steve: I don't know, what?
Sam: A puss. What test does he get the best grade on?
Steve: What?
Sam: Pop quizzes!
Dad: "Good News, son your going to be attracted to girls."
Son: "What's the bad news?"
Dad: "Your going to be covered in pimples."
Yo mama so fat when they took pictures of Earth it looked like Earth had a pimple.
Ok Puberty....Jokes Over... You can make me hot now.
What are they teaching kids in School? I sat down to have "The talk" with my son and he taught me a thing or two.
The Talk
DAUGHTER: Mum!
MUM: Whats wrong?
DAUGHTER: I am worried.
MUM: Why are you?
DAUGHTER: Hair is growing here (between my legs).
MUM: Wow! that place where hair is growing is "monkey", so be proud of it.
DAUGHTER: mmmmmmhhh! smiled. sister, hair is growing on my "monkey"
SISTER: Thats nothing, mine is already eating "bananas"
Teeth
A little boy & a little girl are playing doctor behind a barn.
They are both bear butt naked.
The little boy's mom comes around the corner, and catches them.
She grabs her son by the arm, and drags him to the house.
Spanking him the whole way.
When they get back to the house she sits him down, and says to the little boy "don't be messing' with those little girls.
They got teeth down there, and they'll bit off anything that get near it.
" Well the little boy grows up still thinking' this.
He gets to high school.
He falls in love. 17 Years old, and still a virgin.
Now he's 21, and he asks he's girl friend to marry him.
Still a virgin. He's 24, it's he's wedding night, and he's still a virgin.
They go on there honey moon, and now their in bed.
Their foolin' around. When he gets off he rolls over and turns off the light.
His wife says " wy, wy, wy, just a minute aren't we going to have sex? "
He says "No, my mom done told me about you women, ya'll got teeth down there. "
She says "No I don't, if you don't believe me turn on the light and look."
So, he turns on the light and she shows him.
She says "Well?"
He says "No wonder you aint got no teeth, look at the shape your gums are in "
The Robot
In the not to distant future a dad buys a ROBOT at a discount.
The robot interface glitches and slaps the people who lie.
(AT DINNER)
DAD: Son,How's school?
SON: Great! We learned many things.
ROBOT slapped SON
SON: Ok,I went to the movies.
DAD: What did you watch?
SON: Toy Story 2
ROBOT slapped SON again
SON: Ok, a rated R movie.
DAD: I never watched movies like that.
ROBOT slapped DAD
DAD: Ok, I watched a R rated movie when I was 14 years old.
MOM: There, There, stop this argument because he is in puberty stage and HE IS YOUR SON.
ROBOT slapped MOM.