Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.
Q: What do you say to an army officer as you're about to run him or her over with a steam roller?
A: Be flat, major.
Q: What do pianist use to eat with?
A: A tuneing fork
Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: See flat major.
Q: What do all great pianists have in common?
A: They are all dead.
When mozart died was he a decomposer?
Q: What do you call a cow that plays the piano?
A: A moo-sician
Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs, playing the piano?
A: Clever Dick.
Pianist: Did you hear my last recital?
Friend: I hope so.
Q: What do you call an ant who cant play the piano?
Q: Where do the pianists go for vacation?
A: Florida Keys
Q: What do you call a laughing piano?
A: A Yama-hahahahaha.
Q: What has many keys but unlocks no doors?
A: A Piano.
Q: What key is "Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight" written in?
A: C sharp or B flat.
Q: What do you call a snowman that plays the piano?
A: Melton John
Q: Did you see the sign outside the piano studio?
A: "Gone Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet."
Q: What do you call a goat that plays the piano?
A: Billy Joel.
Q: How did Beethoven travel around Europe?
A: He took the Ludwig van.
Q: Did you hear the joke about classical music?
A: I don't remember how it goes, but the punchline is "the pianist got hit by a car".
Marriage is like playing the piano. It looks easy until you try it.
Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.
Q: How do you get a million dollars?
A: Start off with 2 million and buy a piano store.
Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A: A natural major.
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
A: Root position cords.
Q: What is the perfect weight for a pianist?
A: 3 and a half pounds including the urn.
Q: Why do pianists leave their sheet music on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What's the difference between a pianist and god?
A: God doesn't think he's a pianist.
Q: What did Beethoven do when he died?
A: He decomposed!
Q: What do you call a successful pianist?
A: A guy whose wife has 2 jobs.
Q: What's the difference between a pianist and garbage?
A: The garbage gets taken out once a week.
Q: What's the definition of an optimist?
A: A pianist with a mortgage.
Q: What does a piano and a baseball have in common?
A: People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
Q: What's the difference between a piano and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
A B flat, a G flat, and an E flat walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we can't serve minors"
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and Iíll show you a flat minor.
A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in a week!" The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, "If it doesn't work, let me know."
A week later the guy is back: "Doc, still no movement!"
The doctor says, "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a powerful laxative.
Still another week later the poor guy is back: "Doc, STILL nothing!"
The doctor, worried, says, "We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a musician, I play the piano."
The doctor looks up and says, "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat!"
St Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.
The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."
St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"
The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."
"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"
The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."
"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?
A student says 'Sir, I need to go to my music lesson?'
Teacher says 'Do you have a note?'
Student replies 'No..*confused*'
Teacher replies 'Ding *presses a note on the piano*