Geometry Jokes
Q: What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest?
A: A high-pot-in-use
Q: What do you call a crushed angle?
A: A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
Q: What does Geometry and my dick have in common?
A: They're both hard for you.
Q: What did the baby tree say when it looked in a mirror?
A: Gee-Om-A-Tree.
Q: Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school?
A: Because she sprained her angle!!
Q: What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?
A: A plane cheeseburger.
Q: Why did I divide sin by tan?
A: Just cos.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pebble with a sphere?
A: rock and roll!
Q: What do you call a protractor holding a fishing rod?
A: An Angler!
Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: You're pointless!
Q. What shape is usually waiting for you at Stabucks?
A. A line.
Q: Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
A: Because it was over 90 degrees.
Q: What did the square say to the circle?
A: Haven't I seen you around?
Q: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?
A: Nothing! You know you can't cross a scalar and a vector.
Q: What did the acorn say when he grew up?
A: Gee, I'm A Tree!
Q: Why did the students like their trigonometry teacher?
A: He never gave homework asSINments.
Q: Why does nobody talk to circles?
A: Because there is no point!
Q: What do you call an angle which is adorable?
A: acute angle
Q: What's a mathematician's favourite movie?
A: The Trig Identity.
Q: What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
A: Hexagon
Q: Who invented the Round Table?
A: Sir Cumference.
Q: What did the mum triangle say to the baby triangle?
A: Stop being ILLUMInaughty!
Q: Which triangles are the coldest?
A: Ice-sosceles triangles.
Q: What did the triangle say to the ball?
A: You're pointless.
Q: Where can you buy a ruler that is three feet long?
A: At a yard sale.
Q: What do people who whine a lot and 3 points have in common?
A: They are both coplaners
Q: How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?
A: 3.142
Q: What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?
A: Nice Legs
Q: What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?
A: Geometry
Q: Why did the right triangle divide it's adjacent side and it's hypotenuse?
A: Just Cos!
Q: Why did the inches obey the yardstick?
A: He was their ruler!
Q: What do you call a potato with right angles?
A: A square root.
Q: What do you call more than one L?
A: A Parallel
Q: What do you call people who like tractors?
A: Protractors
Q: Why was the corner hot?
A: Because it was 90 degrees Fahrenheit!
Q: What should you do when it rains?
A: Coincide
Q: Why were the similar triangles weighing themselves?
A: They were finding their scale.
Q: Why won't the circles invite the ellipses over for dinner?
A: They are too eccentric.
Q: Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?
A: They were right for each other.
Q: Why is a geometry book always unhappy?
A: Because it always has lots of problems.
Q: Why was the scalene triangle sad?
A: He would never be right.
Q: Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?
A: She covers the story from every angle.
Q: What shape has all its angles wrecked?
A: A wrecked-angle.
Q: Why couldn't the angle get a loan?
A: His parents wouldn't cosine
Q: What did the acorn say when it grew up?
A: ge om a tree!
Q: Where do circles, ellipses, hyperbolas and parabolas like to hang out in the summer?
A: Coney Island.
Q: Why didn't the chicken cross to the other side of the inequality?
A: It couldn't get past the boundary line.
Q: What do you get when you cross a linebacker with a computer geek?
A: A linear programmer.
Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi
Q: Why was the parent function upset with its child?
A: It was stretched to its limit.
Q: What is a proof?
A: One-half percent of alcohol.
Q: What did the math teacher commit when she murdered someone?
A: A sin!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
Q: What did one geometry book say to the other?
A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
Q: Which shape do you use to catch somebody?
A: A trapezoid.
Q: What do you call a small dog?
A: An acute one.
Q: What do you call a broken record?
A: A Decca-gone
Without geometry, life is pointless.
Student: "I'm cold"
Math Teacher: "Then go to the corner!"
Student: "Why?"
Math Teacher: "Because it's 90 degrees!"
Four Friends
Four friends have been doing really well in their geometry class: they have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm. So, when it's time for the final, they decide not to study on the weekend before, but to drive to another friend's birthday party in another city - even though the exam is scheduled for Monday morning. As it happens, they drink too much at the party, and on Monday morning, they are all hung over and oversleep. When they finally arrive on campus, the exam is already over.
They go to the professor's office and offer him an explanation: "We went to our friend's birthday party, and when we were driving back home very early on Monday morning, we suddenly had a flat tire. We had no spare one, and since we were driving on backroads, it took hours until we got help."
The professor nods sympathetically and says: "I see that it was not your fault. I will allow you to make up for the missed exam tomorrow morning."
When they arrive early on Tuesday morning, the students are put by the professor in a large lecture hall and are seated so far apart from each other that, even if they tried, they had no chance to cheat. The exam booklets are already in place, and confidently, the students start writing.
The first question - five points out of one hundred - is a simple exercise in geometry, and all four finish it within ten minutes.
When the first of them has completed the problem, he turns over the page of the exam booklet and reads on the next one:
Problem 2 (95 points out of 100): Which tire went flat?
King and Queen
One day, there was a king and queen and they lived in a round house. One day, they woke up and saw their daughter was dead.
After interviewing the staff the King asked the Queen "Who do you think killed her? The daughter's brother, the maid sweeping the corners, or the other maid that was dusting the book shelf?"
Queen: It was the made sweeping the corners cause it's a round house, there are no corners, so it must have been her!
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