Q: What happens after the government takes 35 percent of your paycheck?
A: The gas station takes the rest!
Q: What does OPEC now stand for?
A: Oil Pricing Evil Cartel!
Q: What did Dick Cheney say when his daughter told him she was a lesbian?
A: I'm alright with who you choose to be as long as you drive a gas-guzzling car!
Q: Why shouldn't George W Bush ease environmental regulations to reduce gas prices?
A: It'll backfire and not only will you not be able to drive, you won't be able to breathe either."
Q: How high are gas prices in New York City?
A: So high rats are carpooling in from New Jersey!
Q: What is it like when you put Republicans in Congress in charge of gas gouging legislation?
A: It's like putting Dick Cheney in charge of gun safety."
Q: What is the President Obama's new fitness program to get people walking again?
A: GAS at $3/gallon
Q: Why is President Obama only speaking to the Amish?
A: Because they are the only group not upset about the high gas prices!
Q: How bad are gas prices in Los Angeles?
A: Guys in Beverly Hills are hiring hookers to siphon gas out of other people's cars.
Q: How bad are gas prices in the motor city (Detroit)?
A: Its so expensive that SUV now stands for sport utility victim.
Q: Why isn't a good idea for Republicans in Congress to demand President Bush investigate whether oil companies are now gouging consumers?
A: Republicans asking Republicans to investigate other Republicans. And you know who they're going to blame? The Democrats.
Q: How does the Republican Congress plan to increase the number of barrels (of oil) produced?
A: By decreasing the size of the barrels!
Q: What is the new gas station payment policy?
A: We will TAKE your Visa, Mastercard, American Express, and Deptartment Store cards
Q: Why do only 70 percent of Americans feel economic hardship because of $4/gallon gas?
A: The other 30 percent own oil company stock!