Tomato Short Jokes
Q: Why Did The Tomato Blush?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing
Q: What did the sergeant tomato say to the slacker soldier tomato?
A: "You better catch up!"
Q: Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn't find a date!
Q: How do you fix a broken tomato?
A: Tomato paste!
Q: What did the pasta say to the tomato?
A: "Don't get saucy with me!"
Q: Why did Mrs. Tomatoe turn red?
A: She saw Mr. Green Pea !
Q: What is red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.
Q: How do you keep a rotten tomato from smelling?
A: You pinch its nose.
Q: Why is a tomato round and red?
A: Because if it was long, skinny, and green, it would be a bean.
Q: Why is life like ketchup?
A: Good things in life come slow and are worth waiting for.
Q: How do you get rid of lazy tomato employees?
A: Can them.
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a jam?
This tomato is so fresh it has an aunty and uncle in Bel-Air.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Tomato Bar Jokes
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind.
The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"
Lettuce & Tomato
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my little brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos"
So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos"
Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said
"Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!