Ice Cream Jokes
Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow ?
A: Ice Cream
Q: What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream?
A: You get Breyer's remorse!
Q: How did Reese eat her ice cream?
A: Witherspoon.
Q: How do astronauts eat their ice cream?
A: In floats!
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?
A: Pi a'la mode.
Q: When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream?
A: Any Given Sundae.
Q: Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk?
A: It's an udderly bad idea!
Q: Where is the best place to get an ice cream?
A: IN A SUNDAY SCHOOL.
Q: What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone?
A: Scoop Dogg.
Q: What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone?
A: Alice Scooper.
Q: What did the newspaper say to the ice cream?
A: What's the scoop
Q: Why did the ice cream truck break down?
A: Because of the Rocky Road.
Q: How do you learn how to make ice cream?
A: In Sunday (Sundae) School.
Q: What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert?
A: Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
One day,tamarind, curry and ice was crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. then, tamabrindball , curry duck and ice-cream!
There are two types of people in this world: People who love ice cream and liars.
Two ice cream vans crashed on the motorway, police put some cones out, thankfully no-one suffered whippy lash.
Flavors
The young man entered the Ice Cream Shop at the amusement park and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?"
"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.
"Do you have laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically.
"Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry."
Sesame Street
Bert and Ernie are sitting outside one day on Sesame Street.
Bert turns to Ernie and asks, "Hey Ernie, wanna go get some ice cream?"
Ernie replies, "Sure Bert."
I Want Chocolate Ice Cream
A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."
The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate."
"In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream."
"You don't understand, sir," the girl says. "We have no chocolate."
"Then just give me some chocolate," he insists.
Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell 'van,' as in 'vanilla?'"
The man spells, "V A N."
"Now spell 'straw,' as in 'strawberry.'"
"OK. S-T-R-A-W."
"Now," the girl asked, "spell 'stink,' as in chocolate."
The man hesitates, then confused, replied, "There is no stink in chocolate."
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screams.
Ice Cream Shop
A old man walks into a ice cream shop, and sits down with difficulty....
He orders a ice cream cone and the waiter asks "Crushed nuts?"
The old man replies, "No arthritis"
Ice Cream Pick Up Lines
I want you more then a Hagen-Daas on a hot summer day.
"I'll be the Burger King, and you'll be the Dairy Queen... You treat me right, and I'll do it your way."
You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
Church Bells
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent�s house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn�t come along, he�d still be alive today!"