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Artichoke Jokes


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Q: Why is Lebron James' doctor to blame for his postseason performance?
A: Because he told Lebron James eat arti-choke! (He outta choke)

Q: Why did the tin man from Oz eat artichokes?
A: He wanted a heart!

Q: What water yields the most beautiful artichoke garden?
A: Perspiration!

Q: What kind of socks do you need to plant artichokes?
A: Garden hose!

Q: Where did the artichoke go to have a few drinks?
A: The Salad Bar!

Two artichokes
One day two artichokes, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.

The uninjured artichoke called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured artichoke was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.

After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured artichoke, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."

"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

Artichoke, Pickle, & Penis
A artichoke, a pickle and a penis were talking about their awful lives.
The artichoke said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me.
The pickle said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar.
The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!

Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.

A banana stuck in one of his ears, a artichoke in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.

The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

Math Mistake
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 artichokes and I asked for one, how many would you have left?"
Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4 artichokes."

Knock Knock Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Artichokes.
Artichokes, who?
Artichokes when he eats too fast!

Elderly Ladies
Two elderly ladies happen to meet at the market after not seeing one another for some time.
After inquiring about each other's health, one of them asks how the other ones husband is doing.
"Oh, Henry died last week! He went out to the garden to dig up an artichoke for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh, dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend. "What did you do?"
"I opened a can of peas instead."
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