Volvo Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a Volvo and the principal's office?
A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.

Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A: So Volvo owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: What's the difference between a Volvo and a Porcupine?
A: When it comes to a Volvo, the prick is on the inside.

Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Volvos?
A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.

Q: How do you make a Volvo go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.

Q: What is the difference between a Volvo and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.

Q: Why are the latest Volvos so aerodynamically designed?
A: It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.

Q: What is the aim of a Volvo project car?
A: An attempt to keep their car running.

Q: What is the difference between a Volvo and a tampon?
A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.

Q: Why are Volvo dealers giving away a dog with each Volvo sold?
A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.

Q: How do you double the value of a Volvo Icon?
A: Full the tank with petrol.

Q: What did the Toyota say to the Volvo?
A: Would you like a tow home?

Q: What do you call a Volvo at the top of a Hill?
A: A Miracle.

Q: What do you call two Volvos at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.

Q: What do you call a Volvo with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow

Q: What is the Volvo owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.

Q: What do you call a Volvo with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.

Want to hear a car joke?
Volvo xc60.

What should you do if you find three Volvo owners buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.

What's the difference between a Volvo owner and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent own a Volvo.

Volvo Acronyms

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Obviously

Strongest Man
A guy walks into a biker bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest man in here?"
A tough looking guy goes over to him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my Volvo to the gas station?"

Car Shopping

A lady walks into a Volvo dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Volvo S90 and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."

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