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Q: What's the difference between a Volvo and the principal's office?
A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.
Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A: So Volvo owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: What's the difference between a Volvo and a Porcupine?
A: When it comes to a Volvo, the prick is on the inside.
Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Volvos?
A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.
Q: How do you make a Volvo go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.
Q: What is the difference between a Volvo and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
Q: Why are the latest Volvos so aerodynamically designed?
A: It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.
Q: What is the aim of a Volvo project car?
A: An attempt to keep their car running.
Q: What is the difference between a Volvo and a tampon?
A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.
Q: Why are Volvo dealers giving away a dog with each Volvo sold?
A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.
Q: How do you double the value of a Volvo Icon?
A: Full the tank with petrol.
Q: What did the Toyota say to the Volvo?
A: Would you like a tow home?
Q: What do you call a Volvo at the top of a Hill?
A: A Miracle.
Q: What do you call two Volvos at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.
Q: What do you call a Volvo with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: What is the Volvo owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
Q: What do you call a Volvo with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.
Volvo Acronyms
Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Ass Always Breaking-Down
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sorry Assed American Buyers
Volvo Mottos
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Obviously
Strongest Man
A guy walks into a biker bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest man in here?"
A tough looking guy goes over to him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my Volvo to the gas station?"
Volvo Car Salesmen
Two Volvo car salesmen were sitting at the bar.
One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more Volvo's this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"
Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking Volvo!"
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