Toyota Jokes

Short Toyota Jokes

Q: What does a Toyota and Tiger Woods have in common?
A: They both don't know when to stop.

Q: Why are doctors sure that Dick Cheney's heart won't stop?
A: Doctors put in a special pacemaker made by Toyota!

Q: How many Toyota car salesmen does it take to change your light bulb?
A: It depends on your credit, current lease terms, and willingness to take a balloon payment!

Q: Why can't Toyota make a website addressing rumors about their cars going out of control.
A: The website keeps crashing!

Q: What's the difference between a Toyota and Tiger Woods?
A: A Toyota can't thrust back

Q: How is Toyota promoting their new model the "Toyota Apology"
A: By saying it gets two stops at the repair shop for every gallon

Q: Why did Toyota buy the company that makes Energizer Batteries?
A: So they could borrow their ad slogan "It keeps going and going."

Q: Why shouldn't consumers be outraged by Toyota's actions?
A: Their commercials used to advertise that Toyotas are on the road longer than most other brands. Now we are realizing it's because people have trouble getting them to stop!

Q: What should you do if you find three Toyota owners buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What do Toyota owners and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What is the smallest part of an Toyota?
A: The owners brain.

Q: Why did the cat sleep under the Toyota?
A: Because he wanted to wake up oily.

Q: How do Prius owners drive?
A: One hand on the wheel, the other patting themselves on the back

Want to hear a car joke?
Toyota Yaris.

What should you do if you find three Toyota owners buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.

What's the difference between a Toyota owner and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent own a Toyota.

Old slogan: "Oh what a feeling!"
New slogan: "There's no stopping us now".

Toyota Quotes

"Over the next two weeks, we're going to have the Winter Olympics. ... They're doing something this year that is going to add a little more excitement. All the bobsleds are made by Toyota." Jay Leno.

"The recall is so scary that as he is driving to work: The navigation lady was actually praying." David Letterman

"Toyota's slogan is 'Moving Forward' -- they don't say anything in there about stopping." Stephen Colbert

Toyota Acronyms

Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away
Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Totalled Only Yesterday, Officer Towed Away
This One You Oughta Tow Away
To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile

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