Tesla Jokes


Short Tesla Jokes

What do you call a criminal driving a Tesla?
A Joule Thief.

Who solved the mystery of the stolen Tesla?
Sherlock Ohms.

Did you hear about the Tesla Owner in Jail?
He was charged with battery.

What is the difference between a Tesla and a porcupine?
Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

What did the German boy say after pushing his brother out of a Tesla?
Look Mom, No Hans.

What happened after the mechanic touched a Tesla?
He got a pair of shocks.

What did Peter Parker say to Elon Musk?
With great power comes great electricity bill.

What do the Germans call a Tesla?
A Volts-wagon.

Why do blondes like the Tesla Model S?
Because they can spell it.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are dissatisfied with their cars.
The other 9 percent are Tesla owners.

There are two reasons I don't take my girlfriend on longs drives in my Tesla.
One I don't have a girlfriend.
Two I don't have a Tesla.

Tesla One Liners

Tesla Jokes revolt me.

So you're in high school and you drive a Tesla? You must know all about hard work then.

I would give both my testies for a new Tesla Model S.

I told Elon Musk a dirty Tesla joke and he was "shocked".

If you see someone driving a Tesla, stay away! Research shows that Tesla drivers don't use their hands.

Someone hit me with their Tesla and now my Head Hertz.

If you're driving a Tesla and it gets stolen, is it now called an Edison?

Elon Musk has an electricfying scientific mind.

You wanna man that drives a Tesla, but your dad drives a Toyota. Why you can't be humble like your mom?

My friend told me the range of his Tesla and I was like Watt!

A girl who swallows is like owning a Tesla, You don't need it, but it's nice to have.

Mid Life Crisis

A man in his 40's bought a new Tesla Model S and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Tesla," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 120.... then the reality of the situation hit him.

"What the hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back."

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer

Materialistic Lawyer

A lawyer opened the door of his Tesla, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious Tesla.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Model S!!!", he whiningly said.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid Tesla, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

"Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?


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