Suzuki Jokes
Q: What's the difference between a Suzuki and the principal's office?
A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.
Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
A: Max speed - 60 km/h - Suzukis do best you can.
Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A: So Suzuki owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Suzukis?
A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.
Q: How do you make a Suzuki go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.
Q: Why Pokemon Go a lifesaver?
A: Because it gives Suzuki owners have something to do while they walk home.
Q: What is the difference between a Suzuki and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.
Q: Why are the latest Suzukis so aerodynamically designed?
A: It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.
Q: What is the aim of a Suzuki project car?
A: An attempt to keep their car running.
Q: What is the difference between a Suzuki and a tampon?
A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.
Q: Why are Suzuki dealers giving away a dog with each Suzuki sold?
A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.
Q: How do you double the value of a Suzuki Ertiga?
A: Fill the tank with petrol.
Q: What did the Ford say to the Suzuki Celerio on the side of the road?
A: Rust-in-peace.
Q: Why did the cat sleep under the Suzuki?
A: Because he wanted to wake up oily.
Q: What did the Toyota say to the Suzuki?
A: Would you like a tow home?
Q: What's the difference between a golfball and a Suzuki?
A: A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.
Q: What do you call a Suzuki at the top of a Hill?
A: A Miracle.
Q: What do you call two Suzukis at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.
Q: What's the difference between a Suzuki Ignis and a Jehovah's witness?
A: You can close the door on a Jehovah's witness!
Q: What do you call a Suzuki with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow
Q: What is the Suzuki owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.
Q: Why did the Suzuki cross the road?
A: To pick up the bits it lost yesterday.
Q: What do you call a Suzuki with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.
Want to hear a car joke?
Suzuki APV.
What should you do if you find three Suzuki owners buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.
What's the difference between a Suzuki owner and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent own a Suzuki.
Today 99% of Suzukis are on the road the other 1% made it to the car shop.
Suzuki Mottos
"Speed kills. Drive a Suzuki and live forever!"
"That's not a leak. My Suzuki is just marking it's territory."
"You might own a Suzuki if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport."
"I could never keep a Suzuki under me, I was always under the Suzuki."
"Friends don't let friends drive Suzukis."
Strongest Man
A guy walks into a biker bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest man in here?"
A tough looking guy goes over to him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my Suzuki Swift to the gas station?"