Land Rover Jokes
Short Land Rover Jokes
Q: How many Land Rover SUV salesmen does it take to change your light bulb?
A: It depends on your credit, current lease terms, and willingness to take a balloon payment!
Q: What is the difference between a Land Rover and a porcupine?
A: Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
Q: What is the Land Rover owner's most ardent wish?
A: A bigger penis.
Q: What should you do if you find three Land Rover owners buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Want to hear a car joke?
Land Rover Discovery Sport.
What should you do if you find three Range Rover owners buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.
What's the difference between an Range Rover owner and a door?
The door is more than just a knob.
Why don't blonde's like the Range Rover Velar?
Because they can spell it.
What's the difference between a Land Rover owner and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
According to a new poll 98 percent of people are dissatisfied with their lives.
The other 2 percent are Land Rover owners.
There are two reasons I don't take my girlfriend on longs drives in my Range Rover.
One I don't have a girlfriend.
Two I don't have a Range Rover.
Land Rover One Liners
So you're in sixth form and you drive a Range Rover? You must know all about hard work then.
I would give both my testies for a new Range Rover.
If you see someone driving a Range Rover, stay away! Research shows that Land Rover drivers are the rudest on the road.
You wanna man that drives a Land Rover, but your dad drives a Volkswagen Golf. Why you can't be humble like your mom?
I just saw a Range Rover driver using his indicators correctly on the motorway. Twice. Should I report the vehicle as stolen?
A girl who swallows is like owning a Range Rover, You don't need it, but it's nice to have.
Land Rover Bar Jokes
Car Shopping
A lady walks into a Land Rover dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Range Rover and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks Wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady With, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."
Materialistic Lawyer
A barrister opened the door of his Range Rover, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the barrister was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious Range Rover.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Range Roverrrrr!!!", he whiningly said.
"You barristers are so materialistic, you make me bloody sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid Range Rover, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?