K-Mart Short Jokes
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off !
Did you hear about a priest who was running a "blue-light" special at a local K-Mart?
Little boys' pants were half off!`
Q: What`s the national anthem of Puerto Rico?
A: "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."
Q: Why aren't there any K-Marts in Afghanistan?
A: Because they are all Targets!
Q: How can you afford a middle class lifestyle on $10/hour (average pay at Kmart)?
A: By shopping at Kmart!
K-Mart Bar Jokes
Dan, a college student, is home for summer break. In order to make a few extra bucks he decides that he is going to apply for a part time job at the local K-Mart.
Dan fills out the standard application and is called into the manager's office. The manager is the typical K-Mart employee — skinny, glasses, pocket protector and K-Mart clothes. Also, he takes a little too much pride in working at K-Mart. He says, "Dan, do you think you have what it takes to work at the Big K?"
Dan laughs to himself, thinking what an asshole! But since it was an interview he responded, "Absolutely."
The Manager continued, "In order to work here you need to be a salesman and you need to be in touch with the customer, do you think you've got those qualities?"
Again, Dan laughs to himself, Is this f**king guy serious? But he says again, "Absolutely!"
"Well, let me show you how it's done," says the manager.
The manager leads Dan to a counter and waits for a customer. The first guy to come along drops a 50 pound bag of grass seed on the counter.
The manager says, "That's a pretty big bag of grass seed ya got there."
"Yup," responds the customer.
The manager winks at Dan and says, "Ya think you might need a new lawn mower for that grass you're putting down?"
Dan actually sees the lightbulb go off over the customer's head. " Yeah! That's a great idea."
The manager leads him back to the lawn mowers and helps him pick out a really nice model.
"Ya see, Dan, that's how it's done. Ya think you can do that?"
"Hell, yeah!" says Dan, "Just watch!!"
Dan steps up to the counter and the next man to come along drops a huge package of tampons onto the counter. Dan looks at the box and then at the embarrassed customer.
"That's a pretty big box of tampons ya got there," says Dan.
The embarrassed man looks up feebly and says, "Yup."
A moment of silence passes and then Dan blurts out, "Would you be interested in buying a new lawn mower?"
The customer looks up from his shoes and responds, "What the hell would I want a lawn mower for?"
Dan winks at his manager and says, "Well, since you won't be getting laid this weekend I figured you might want to mow your lawn!"