Kia Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a Kia and the principal's office?
A: It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.

Q: What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?
A: Max speed - 60 km/h - Kias do best you can.

Q: Why do they put sidewalks beside most streets and highways?
A: So Kia owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: Why do they fit ABS braking systems to the latest Kias?
A: So the driver can stop quicker to pick up the fallen off parts.

Q: How do you make a Kia go faster downhill?
A: Turn off the engine.

Q: Why Pokemon Go a lifesaver?
A: Because it gives Kia owners have something to do while they walk home.

Q: What is the difference between a Kia and a shopping trolley?
A: A shopping trolley is much easier to push.

Q: Why are the latest Kias so aerodynamically designed?
A: It improves the Chevy towe truck's fuel consumption.

Q: What is the aim of a Kia project car?
A: An attempt to keep their car running.

Q: What is the difference between a Kia and a tampon?
A: A tampon comes with it's own tow rope.

Q: Why are Kia dealers giving away a dog with each Kia sold?
A: So the owner has a companion to walk home with.

Q: How do you double the value of a Kia Icon?
A: Full the tank with petrol.

Q: What did the Ford say to the Kia on the side of the road?
A: Rust-in-peace.

Q: Why did the cat sleep under the Kia?
A: Because he wanted to wake up oily.

Why did the Kia cross the road?
To pick up the bits it lost yesterday.

Q: What did the Toyota say to the Kia?
A: Would you like a tow home?

Q: What's the difference between a golfball and a Kia?
A: A golf ball can be driven 300 yards.

Q: What do you call a Kia at the top of a Hill?
A: A Miracle.

Q: What do you call two Kias at the top of a hill?
A: A mirage.

Q: What's the difference between a Kia and a Jehovah's witness?
A: You can close the door on a Jehovah's witness!

Q: What do you call a Kia with dual exhausts?
A: A wheelbarrow

Q: What is the Kia owner's most ardent wish?
A: To buy a car.

Q: What do you call a Kia with a seat belt?
A: A rucksack.

Want to hear a car joke?
Kia Sorrento.

What should you do if you find three Kia owners buried up to their neck in cement?
Get more cement.

What's the difference between a Kia owner and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent own a Kia.

Today 99% of Kia's are on the road the other 1% made it to the car shop.

Kia Acronyms

Keep It Away!
Killed In Accident
Kick It's Ass
Korean Imitation Accord
Killed In Action
Keep Inside Asia
Korea Invades America
Korean Industrial Accident
Korean imported abortion
Korea's Imported Accident
Killer's Imported Asset

Kia Mottos

"Speed kills. Drive a Kia and live forever!"
"That's not a leak. My Kia's just marking it's territory."
"You might own a Kia if you keep getting sympathy cards from the dept of transport."
"I could never keep a Kia under me, I was always under the Kia."
"Friends don't let friends drive Kias."

Strongest Man
A guy walks into a biker bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest man in here?"
A tough looking guy goes over to him and says "I am the strongest around here!"
The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my Kia to the gas station?"

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