KFC Short Jokes
Q: Why is KFC removing the trans-fat from their menu?
A: Because they want that Variety bucket to pad your ass without clogging your arteries!
Q: Whats the differnce between Hillary Clinton and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A1: KFC has big breasts and small thighs!
A2: Bill Clinton has never eaten Hillary Clinton!
Q: What is in the KFC Obama Cabinet Bucket?
A: Nothing but left wings and assholes!
Q: How did KFC repudiate claims that their chickens are abused and tortured?
A: Our chickens are not abused and Waterboarding is not torture!
Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: Because there was a KFC on the other side.
Q: What does a Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman have in common?
A: If you take away the legs and the breast you're left with a smelly greasy box?
KFC Bar Jokes
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?"
The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread' to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words."
So the Colonel hangs up. After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again.
"Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll give you $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread' to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words."
So the Colonel gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales the Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this day our daily bread' to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
Yo Momma KFC Jokes
Yo Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to KFC, she asks for the bucket on the roof
Yo momma so fat that the only letters of the alphabet she knows are KFC!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo momma is so fat, her blood type is KFC!