Ipod Short Jokes
Q: Why don't they make an ipod touch for kids?
A: Because if they did it would be called Itouchkids!
Q: Why is the Apple still reporting record profits?
A: Because iPod users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them!
Q: According to Apple what is the leading cause of Ipod touch's overheating?
A: Downloading images of Megan Fox!
Q: What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?
A: A Macintosh
Q: How many Apple Ipod touch early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
Q: What's the name of the new Apple Ipod, specifically made for bathroom use?
What do you get if you cross an Ipod and a fridge?"
Q: Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
A: Everyone at Apple are crying their i's out!
Q: What does a bull and iPod have in common?
A: They both charge!
Q: What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone?
A: iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iCameBack, iThinkDifferent, iMac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, iPad, iCloud, iRIP
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die.
Do not touch MY iPod. It's not an usPod, it's not a wePod, it's not an ourPod, it's an iPod.
My iPod screen is brighter than my future
Yo mama so fat she invented the iPad when she sat on the iPod.
My iPod seems to be broke. I pressed the 'home' button but I'm still at school...
Walks Into a Bar
A man walks in a bar with his ipod...
He suddenly realises he needs to fart.
He logs into Itunes and ups the volume thinking 'the music is loud no one will hear'
So he farts...
When he looks around, everyone's staring at him
Then he realises...
He was listening to his ipod with headphones.
Apple Ipod vs Microsoft Zune
Three Apple Ipod engineers and three Microsoft Zune engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference. The Microsoft Zune engineers notice that the Apple Ipod engineers bought only one ticket between them. The Microsoft Zune engineers ask the Apple Ipod engineers how they plan on getting to the conference. "Watch and learn," one of the Apple Ipod engineers tells them.
As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Apple Ipod engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into one restroom. When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the restroom door and says "ticket please!" The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor. The Microsoft Zune engineers are impressed, and decide that's what they will do on the trip back.
Then on the return trip, the Microsoft Zune engineers notice that the Apple Ipod engineers haven't bought any tickets. "How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?" they ask. "Watch and learn," one of the Apple Ipod engineers tells them.
As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Microsoft Zune engineers hurry for the restroom. A few moments later, one of the Apple Ipod engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket please!"
Ipod Pick Up Lines
Did you know my ipod touch is also a remote control? Lets go somewhere remote and you can have control.
How much does your ipod touch weigh? Enough to break the ice.
I AM happy to see you but thats just an ipod in my pocket.
Is your dad a thief? Because if he is, Ill keep my new ipod hidden when you introduce him to me next Saturday.
Baby if you were an Ipod touch I would tap you all day!